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SPI 649: Becoming a Super Connector with Selena Soo

The entrepreneurial journey can be a lonely one if we don’t take the time to nurture supportive connections. But how do we build a business network and leverage it to amplify our message? Can we reach and impact millions of people in our niche just by asking for help?

This is the topic of today’s chat with the wonderful Selena Soo. Through her signature publicity and marketing approach, Selena helps her clients build powerful relationships and become industry leaders. I’m very excited to have her share her step-by-step process with us in this game-changing episode.

Our conversation is a deep dive into the best strategies for leveling up your brand through win-win partnerships with influencers in your space. We discuss using your goals and values to access relevant new and legacy media channels to grow your audience. Selena and I also cover the shortcuts to building new relationships through specific in-person and online events.

I always say that digging your well before you’re thirsty is hugely important. Selena shares templates for doing just that in this incredible session. Listen in and enjoy!

Today’s Guest

Selena Soo

Selena Soo is a publicity and marketing strategist for visionary entrepreneurs, experts, and authors who want to reach millions with their message.

She’s helped clients and students get featured in places like O, The Oprah Magazine, Forbes, and Inc., and land interviews on popular podcasts and national TV. Many of Selena’s clients have become industry leaders with 7-figure businesses, raving fan bases, and hundreds of thousands of followers.

Her signature approach comes down to building powerful and long-lasting relationships with influencers and the media in a thoughtful, authentic way.

A long-time New Yorker, Selena now lives in sunny Puerto Rico.

You’ll Learn


SPI 649: Becoming a Super Connector with Selena Soo

Selena Soo: When we show up as givers and help other people, it’s natural that people want to give back to us, right?

Giving and receiving are part of the same cycle. But maybe one of the things that we should touch on is how to ask for help. You know, how to receive. Because I think a lot of times, people don’t know how to make those requests. They’re afraid of damaging the relationship, offending someone, making them feel like it’s transactional.

So they don’t ask at all, or they do so in a way that, you know, it just doesn’t really work.

Pat Flynn: That’s selena Sue. I’ve always known Selena to be a super connector, meaning she just seems to know everybody and knows how to build relationships really fast, which is a very important skill for any entrepreneur to have. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, this episode will absolutely help you because Selena and I talk about the ins and outs of building relationships.

What does this actually mean? To add value to somebody else’s life and career and space so that you could potentially one day benefit from that as well. And there are some lines where we have to balance between, right? We have to balance between asking somebody for something but not, you know, wanting to do that without first giving something, right?

There’s a lot to unpack here. This is exactly why this is the perfect time of the year to talk about this because it is a new year, 2023. We’re already closing in to the end of January already, which is kind of crazy. And if you haven’t yet stepped out of your comfort zone to either meet people or go to events or put yourself in a situation where you can connect yourself with people.

Well then this is for you. This is, this will definitely help. So Selena Soo you can find her on Instagram and just wait till the end to go. Reach out to her and thank her for this at @Selena_Soo on Instagram. We also talk a little bit about getting media as well.

These relationships that you build are obviously gonna help you get in front of different audiences, but how might you better position yourself and your story to get in front of other people so that they’ll amplify your message as well. We got a lot to talk about. This is golden information and I hope you enjoy it.

This is again, Salina Soo and this is session 649 of the Smart Passive Income Podcast. I hope you enjoy.

Announcer: Welcome to the Smart Passive Income Podcast, where it’s all about working hard now, so you can sit back and reap the benefits later. And now your host, he’s the kind of guy who pushes a red button with no label just to see what happens. Pat Flynn.

Pat Flynn: Selena, welcome to the Smart Passive Income Podcast. Thanks so much for being here with me today.

Selena Soo: Oh, you’re welcome. I’m so thrilled to be here.

Pat Flynn: I’m excited. You and I have known each other for quite a while, and one thing I’ve known about you is your superpower of really being a connector. I think we all know how important it is to build relationships in a space, but you seem to just have the superpower to do it really, really fast and really well.

I know you’ve moved to different places and seem to always connect yourself with some amazing people and live this incredibly rich life, not necessarily rich in money, but rich in friends and and atmosphere. And I think I just wanna dive into that today with you because that that is something that I think we can all benefit from.

Does that sound cool?

Selena Soo: Yeah, that sounds great.

Pat Flynn: Have you always been like a people person? Has it always been easy for you to like get into a space and just meet people.

Selena Soo: Oh my goodness, absolutely not. I mean, I identify as an introvert, so I actually am oftentimes uncomfortable connecting with people. Yeah.

But I think for me, I’m very intentional about, you know, who I connect with. So I think, you know, when it comes to building relationships, the first thing is mindset. And so really believing that you belong in the room, believing that you have something of value to offer. So for me, I think the reason why I’m good at creating relationships is cause I really focus on depth and you know, who I wanna connect with, who I can add value to, versus just feeling like I need to, you know, connect and schmooze with anyone.

Pat Flynn: How do you know that you have value to add?

Selena Soo: Yeah, so there’s so many different ways that we can add value to others, and people will often say things to me like Selena, I’m not a mind reader. How do I know what someone wants? But you know, as human beings, we tend to want, you know, similar things. And especially if you’re looking to connect with entrepreneurs, there’s only a few things that you know, they really, really need.

Right. Typically, you know, people are looking for more visibility. They’re looking for more clients. They’re looking for promotion. They’re looking for team members to support them with their goals. They’re looking for solutions to manage stress. And so when you understand what people are fundamentally looking for, then it’s easy to help them.

And I like to think of, you know an, I call them influencers. Influencers are people who can help you reach your goals. So think of them as, you know, a train on a track and they’re headed to a certain destination, full speed ahead. And the train will open for, you know, those doors for a couple moments to let people in.

But then the doors will close. And so I think oftentimes when people try to connect with influencers, they’re like, Hey, this is my agenda. And they’re essentially trying to pull the train off the. But the way to really be successful connecting with someone is actually to jump on the train and support them with where they’re looking to go.

So yeah, whenever I, you know, connect with someone, I’m always like taking moment to tune in and think about how can I be supportive to them and what are their most important goals right now, whether I’m asking them or just observing from what they’re sharing in their newsletters on social media and what I already know about their busines.

Pat Flynn: Wow, that’s, I love that analogy. The train analogy is so, so key. Somebody called me a Flynn-fluencer once. I don’t know how I feel about that. How did the, I don’t think I like that. So don’t, don’t call me a Flynn-fluencer, everybody. To continue that, I think a lot of people, again, mindset is key here, right?

And, and I know this being an introvert as well, I have to, like, pump myself up a little bit before I get into a, a situation. But oftentimes this, I remember when I first started, especially, I would always look for reasons to believe that I wasn’t worthy or that I wasn’t in the right room. Sometimes it’s, it was very simple like, oh, they all have tens of thousands of followers in this group and I only have a couple hundred.

Like, I don’t even belong here. How do you approach that and what’s the story we might be able to tell ourselves before we get into, you know, a room with somebody virtual or, or in person to, to help us get over that?

Selena Soo: I mean, in business there are certainly gonna be people who are ahead of us, but we have to remember that fundamentally as humans, we all have the same value.

And a big part of adding value to someone is being present by being appreciative, being a good listener, being able to offer feedback or a compliment or an idea. You know, sometimes the people that can add the most value to us as creatives and entrepreneurs are people in our existing audience who maybe see something that we’re doing, maybe they’re going through an experience of ours and they have a suggestion on, you know, how it can be better. Also, another thing is in addition to being like doing, right, that’s a big part of building relationships as being a giver, but I think also being is important and I find that you. There’s certain people that we’re drawn to because they have positive energy or they have great habits or self-discipline or whatever it is.

Like there are people that I admire a lot and I don’t expect them to be, you know, my coach on, I don’t know, self-discipline or productivity, but the fact that they embody certain traits and qualities I admire that’s gonna draw me to them. So I think a part of drawing people to you is working on becoming the best version of yourself, being a high integrity you know, positive person, like living your passion in addition to being someone who’s curious about others and thinking about how can I contribute to their world and just make their life a little bit easier.

Pat Flynn: Oh, that’s so, so good. And it, of course, takes a little bit of practice, right? Putting yourself in those situations and realizing that oftentimes the worst case scenario that we paint for ourselves is, is way extreme. Like would, would never happen. And that’s something that I’ve always had to tell myself.

But I think a, a big struggle is, well, where do we even find these people? Like if you moved somewhere new, for example, and I know you recently done this. What might be your first steps to put yourself in the right room with the right people? Where do you even begin?

Selena Soo: So I think the first step is getting really clear on, you know, what your intentions and goals are.

Who do you want to connect with? So maybe you know, someone has a goal to write a bestselling book or to launch an online group program or to become a better father or mother, whatever it is, right? Create work-life balance. Get clear on what your goals are, and then think about who are the people that can connect you to those goals.

So my definition of an influencer is someone who can help you reach your goals faster, and those can be people like mentors, super connectors, people with reach, connected colleagues who are a couple steps ahead of you. Supefans are also, you know, a part of your influencer network. And you know, once you get clear on, okay, what is your goal and who are the types of people that can reach your goal?

Additionally, you wanna get clear on what your values are. I’ve had plenty of opportunities to connect with very influential, successful people, but when I see that there’s a values misalignment, whether, you know, there’s a reputational thing about not taking care of their students or clients or just other things, it doesn’t matter how influential they could be to me. I’m just not interested in making that connection. So really getting clear on those three pieces. What are my goals? You know, what are my values and what are the types of people that I wanna meet is going to be really powerful. And then, you know, getting clear, you know, with yourself and also communicating to others.

You know, one of my big goals this year is to write a book and I’m looking to connect with other bestselling authors or people who are on the same jorney, people who are passionate about, you know, sharing their ideas in this world in this particular way. So if you know anyone that could support me with this goal, anyone interesting to meet, you know where there are synergies, I would love to connect with them.

So part of meeting them is like really understanding what you’re looking for and then verbally sharing that with people wherever you go.

Pat Flynn: That’s cool that you’re writing a book. This is gonna be your first one?

Selena Soo: It is, yeah. I’m nervous and excited. I mean, I’ve read blog posts and social media captions. But a whole entire book, it feels overwhelming, but I’m going to get a coach and you know, support because otherwise I think it’s just gonna feel like too much.

Pat Flynn: Yeah, I had a coach when I first started as well, and was, it was one of the best investments ever and, you know, it’s like raising a kid almost. It’s like one of the hardest things, but also one of the most rewarding things.

Once, once you have it out there and it’s out there in the world and it’s doing its thing. So, you know, I’m here to support you and good luck on the book, and we’ll chat again, I’m sure once the book is available. And if you need help, like, I’m, I’m here for you, I’ve a few. So on the idea, you had mentioned a, a, a key word I always like sit up on my chair for, and that’s the, the word super connector, right? A super connector being somebody who just seems to almost know everybody that you need to know. Like they’re just like a, a node in the industry that you’re in. I know you are in, in my opinion, are a super connector in the entrepreneurial space.

And then there are people like Jamie Masters who just seem to know everybody. And for me, people like that have been incredibly helpful and valuable to my life. Not just business, but to my life because they seem to know somebody who knows somebody and if I might need something or I might need some solution of sorts, they are often the people who can direct me to that position.

And so, very grateful for those relationships and those relationships have been built over time. That’s the other thing, it’s relationships take time. Like if I were to go to you or a or or a Jamie Masters and just immediately start asking for help or connections, it just is not going to work. But this is where, like you said, providing values, seeing where their train is going and offering what you can for them, that’s when oftentimes the reciprocation comes and it, it comes organically. It just doesn’t feel like you’re only doing things to get something back, but it’s just a, a friend to friend type of situation. How do you, if you find a super connector out there, for example, they seem to already have what they might need. How do you get into the same circles as those people, do you think? Is there any tricks or hacks or, or special ways to go about it?

Selena Soo: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, as you meet people, you can ask, you know, who is the most connected person that you know? Or even just thinking about the favorite people that you, you know, have in your network.

And looking on LinkedIn or Facebook and seeing who are the friends that we have in common, right? Who is the common denominator? And I’ll say as a super connector myself, I think that, you know, it’s really valuable to, to connect with other connectors. I love meeting them as well, but I will say like with super connectors, it’s just so natural to give.

It just brings them joy to bring people together to create this synergy. It feels like a three-way win, where both people are getting value from the connection and then, you know, you’re feeling really good by being the connector. But I will say that sometimes people, you know, maybe overlook thanking a super connector because it’s just so easy and natural for them.

So I think like spending time to really nurture those relationships. You know, ask them, how can I help you? Because it’s so easy for them to always be like, oh, you know, let me help someone else. Right? Because it’s so easy for them to, to connect those dots between people, ideas, and opportunities. And I do think a big part of relationship building is really about being proactive and not, you know, waiting for opportunities, but creating opportunities.

So I’ll just share a quick story about our mutual friend John Lee Dumas. So I moved to Puerto Rico, you know, because I read a blog post and watched a video of his just talking about, you know, his relocation and how he was really living his best life there. And so it planted that seed and eventually, you know, I became ready to make that move myself.

And I remember, you know, going on a walk with him one day and he was talking about how he was an affiliate for Tony Robbins’ Knowledge Blueprint program. It was a big goal of his to hit the top 10 on the affiliate leaderboard. But there was all this competition and then I remember, you know, just thinking like, let me just help him because that’s his number one goal.

And John has done so much for me and I would love to support him. So I was like, you know what? If I promoted the offer to my audience and I could send them all to your affiliate link and we could do some kind of joint virtual mastermind or in-person event together, you know, whatever I can do to support you.

You know, I’ll do it. I don’t even need the affiliate commission. We can find some kind of win-win way to support each other. And so, you know, we did that and he, you know, went to Fiji with, you know, Tony Robbins in the top 10. And when his book came out, you know, I was one of the first people to support him and mail my list and do an interview with him.

And, you know, he was tracking the people that, you know, showed up to support him. Cuz someone like John, he has interviewed I think two or three thousand people. And I know that when his book was coming out, he individually recorded videos for I think about 200 people and so forth. But even though he has provided such opportunities for thousands of people that have been on his podcast, yeah, last I spoke to him, it was maybe like 130 or 170,000 downloads per episode.

But a lot of those people don’t maintain the relationship or when he needs support. Sometimes, you know, he might not hear from them. And it’s not just him, it’s all of us, right? Where, you know, people get busy. But I think that if someone is really important to you, it’s a relationship that you wanna cultivate, you really wanna show up in key moments of their life. And I feel like a book is one of those moments. You know, some books are many years, five years in the making. It’s people’s life work. And so if someone has positively impacted my life in a deep way, I do, you know, try to be there for those important moments.

Pat Flynn: That’s so great and those key moments in a person’s life is really what matters. Everybody’s striving towards something. There was a moment when I was launching the SwitchPod, for example, where I was actually having this conversation with a friend of mine who just about meeting new people, and he said, Pat, I know you are promoting the SwitchPod right now.

If I was a random person who you never knew or never heard of before, and I said, Hey, I, I, I know somebody who knows Casey Neistat I might be able to make an introduction for you. Do you think you’d be interested? And I said, I’m dropping everything for that. Yes, absolutely. Because that is my number one goal right now.

And he’s like, see exactly the same thing you said. What is really important to this person right now and how can I help them? And I love that story with John. John’s a good friend of SPI, as many people know. And was really, really stoked to see a lot of people get behind his book like yourself because, you know, he’s been pouring into all of us and, and helping us out and.

I think it was Jordan Harbinger, another podcaster who was on the show, who once said, you know, it’s about digging your well before you’re thirsty. Mm-hmm. I love that. Right. And if you’re digging your well and you’re thirsty, which is the equivalent of like, Hey, like I haven’t talked to you in a while. Can you do this for me? It’s too late, right? It’s never, it’s not gonna work out.

So, dig your well, provide value. And then naturally, when something comes up in your life, you have more of an opportunity to ask without feeling weird about it. And that’s how the world should work, really, in my opinion.

Selena Soo: And just to add to what you’re saying, Pat, I think that, you know, when we show up as givers and help other people, it’s natural that people wanna give back to us, right?

Giving and receiving is part of the same cycle. But maybe one of the things that we should touch on is how to ask for help. You know, how to receive. Because I think a lot of times, people don’t know how to make those requests. They’re afraid of damaging the relationship, offending someone, making them feel like it’s transactional.

So they don’t ask at all, or they do so in a way that, you know, it just doesn’t really work.

Pat Flynn: So how do you do that without making it seem like it’s for different intentions?

Selena Soo: I think it’s important to be straightforward and, you know, I mean there, there’s a few different types of ask that are common for entrepreneurs.

So one ask would be a request for a testimonial, connecting someone to someone who could be a potential client, you know, ask around promotions and things like that. So a couple of tips. I like that when people are straightforward, because sometimes people are like, oh, hey, you know, can we get on the phone?

And, you know, they really have an ulterior motive. They want you to, I don’t know, sign up for something or be a partner, which is totally fine. But I think that you should be clear about what your intentions are. So, you know, whenever I reach out to someone, I mean, we do wanna build rapport in the beginning.

So maybe it’s like, Hey, I saw that you just went on a really cool vacation with your family, or I just saw that you published, you know, amazing article online, you know, so showing that you care about them, that you’re attuned to what’s happening in their world. And then I think getting straight to the point and saying something like, you know, Hey, I was thinking of you because you know, you’re such a valued client of mine, a valued person in my world, and I am updating my website with testimonials, and I would be so grateful to include one or two sentences from you.

Would you be open to that? To make things really easy, I’m happy to draft some examples or connect you to my copywriter. You know, let me know your thoughts. My website is relaunching on X date and I would, you know, love to get a sentence or two from you in two weeks if that works with your schedule. So I think, you know, a couple other things about an email like this that’s effective is that it’s brief, it’s warm, it’s to the point, and it’s also specific, you know, one or two sentences versus wondering like, wait, do we need a whole case study? Or, you know, what exactly is the person asking for? And then also not assuming that they’re definitely gonna do it, but you know, wondering if you would be open if you have the time.

And then last but not least, you know, I can make it really easy for you in these different ways if you would like.

Pat Flynn: Yeah, that’s great. Would, would you recommend if there’s a connection outside of email, for example, on social media or even text to offer that similar ask in that sort of form?

Selena Soo: Yeah. I think that if you have a close relationship with someone and you’re, you know, typically texting them or you’re communicating a lot, then it does make sense to, you know, discuss that with them there.

But I think in addition you wanna follow up and put it in writing. So maybe like, let’s say, you know, you know someone and they have a big podcast, but you’re like, I dunno if I should, you know, ask them or if they’re accepting guests or they think I would be a good fit. But you have a friendly relationship, you could potentially, you know, if you text with them you could send ’em a little voice note and just say, Hey, I was just thinking of you, I was listening to your most recent episode. And, you know, share something specific about it and say, you know, curious if you’re accepting, you know, new guests on your podcast.

If so, I’d love to throw my hat in the ring. This is something that I could share that I think would add a lot of value to your audience. And I can send, you know, a proper email later with more details for you to take a look and review. But just wanted to touch base with you first to see if you know you are accepting new guests and if this is a possibility.

Pat Flynn: I love it. I think people are gonna keep replaying that part back over and over just to kind of get the, the template. One more thing on relationships, and then I wanna go into another superpower of yours, which is media, right? Getting onto, whether it’s television, magazines, newspapers, all that kind of stuff, which can be very helpful for building authority and for getting some additional exposure.

So we’ll get into that in just a second. But my last question for you is, what are your thoughts on if there is maybe a person or a group of people out there that I know I want to connect with? I know I want to be in that room, to pay to get access to that group, right? There’s a lot of different communities and things like that that you could pay to get access to those people.

What are your thoughts on making those connections that way versus maybe something that might be more organic and, you know, without sort of paid access. Is there, is there pros or cons or goods and bads to approaching people that way?

Selena Soo: Yeah, I think that makes so much sense. I mean, there are people that spend, you know, six months, nine months, one year, organizing a conference and bringing together, you know, the best speakers and like-minded people. And if you were trying to organize, you know, that group yourself, it, it would take forever and it might not even be possible to organize that group. So whether someone is, you know, organizing a conference, a mastermind, a workshop, and there’s a way for you to pay, you know, a fee and be in that room with like 50 ideal clients or synergistic individuals or, you know, hundreds of people that are in the same industry as you? I think definitely go for it. I mean, obviously we can’t, you know, be in every single mastermind in every single room, but I do feel like that’s a big part of, you know, a relationship building plan is like, I do think that you should invest money.

I mean, I myself have invested in masterminds to work with top mentors and I’ve gotten to meet people in their network that way. I organize events and have masterminds and, and you know, in my case, in many, you know, cases of super connectors, there’s like, 10 years plus into building these relationships.

We’re showing up for people in massive ways, like adding value, helping them grow their business, connect them to clients and so there’s so much goodwill and they’re happy to show up for these things, right? So to be able to leverage like 10 years worth of goodwill and just be in that room and be connected to that person and, and you know, people in their network, I think is a great shortcut to take.

Pat Flynn: I would agree with that for sure. I mean, that’s how I’ve gotten access to a lot of people who have since become friends and partners and co-creators and even employees and lifelong friendships, right? The other thing that I wanna ask is, I know that sometimes you put on like small events for your community as well to not just like expand the relationships that you have, but to help people come together.

And this is something that I talk about quite often in Superfans, which is facilitating these gatherings and meetups, and such. Like do you have any tips for somebody who’s doing that for the first time? Because I think that’s a fantastic way to do a multitude of things from building authority because you’re being the facilitator to creating connections within your community so that people will continue to come back to getting to know more about your clients or colleagues or anything like this. Any quick tips for setting up a little gathering like that? And how much might one need to spend to create something that would be worthwhile for people to go to?

Selena Soo: So I think when you’re organizing a gathering, you don’t necessarily need that many people. I recently had a dinner party at my home for eight of my star students, so it was me and my best friend and eight of them.

So there were 10 people. And I think sometimes the more intimate, the better. Those are, those are some of my favorite events. So if it’s an in-person event, if you’re, you know, bringing people together, you know, at your home and you’re just ordering food, I mean, that might just cost like, $200 or less, or it could be a potluck and everyone bring food.

Or maybe a dinner. That’d be cool. Right? You just have like a cheese plate and fruit and people bring a beverage, so it really doesn’t have to cost that much money at all. And you know, some tips for organizing events, I would say for some events it might be a good idea to have someone co-hosting with you.

So you know, you’re saying, Hey, come together. Me and Pat are co-hosting, you know, a mixer for some of our star students. Or when I would do, you know, events with media and entrepreneurs, I would invite the entrepreneurs. I’d say, Hey, I would love for you to come to this, you know, media mixer. We have editors from places like Oprah Magazine and Entrepreneur and Inc. who are gonna be. So, you know, having two or three additional names of people or people that are affiliated with certain publications or companies can get really pe people really excited about the event. So that’s powerful. I think it’s also really important to have food because sometimes people come to events and they’ve forgotten to eat, or you know, they’ll leave an event early because it’s like, it’s dinnertime.

So just even having like a little bit of food and beverage can go a really long way. And then also thinking about, you know, how you can, I mean, facilitate the event. Because there are some people who are introverted and it’s hard for them to connect with other people. So with some events, like bigger events, if I have my team there, I’ll have them like actively looking out and seeing is there anybody who just is by themselves and not really talking to anyone and being uncomfortable and having, you know, people then, you know, introduce, you know, people to each other, that can be powerful. Also, having certain ice breakers. When I do my virtual networking events, I always have, you know, questions that people can discuss deep and meaningful on deep and meaningful topics to really like build those relationships. So those are a few things that you can keep in mind.

Pat Flynn: That’s really cool. On the virtual thing, is that like a zoom with breakouts, with prompts and they could just be there to connect with each other kind of thing?

Selena Soo: Yes, exactly. I, I like doing that because yeah, when you bring, let’s say 50 people into a Zoom room and yet it’s gonna be hard for everyone to talk. And so what I’ve done is I’ve had little breakout rooms where there’re like four or five people in the room and every single person has a time and, time and space to share. And then after that we come back together in the main room and people who had, you know, a share that they were really excited about or who wants to shout out someone that they learn from or were inspired by, can do that. So it’s the best of both worlds, right? Like big space and also small space virtually.

Pat Flynn: I like that. And virtual, we can all set that up for our community. And again, when you step up to provide that opportunity for people to connect with each other, it just heightens your brand and it makes the community feel that much stronger to not just each other, but to you as well. One tip that I have, having done a few of these in-person things before, and I got this from Michael Hyatt.

Like I went to one of his events once I was a winner for an affiliate contest and I went to a place called Blackberry Farm and there were a few other affiliate contest winners there as well. And so the intimate dinner, I agree at the intimate dinners and opportunities like that are, are really special.

I think there was maybe 10 of us at dinner and Michael stood up and you know, he gave a toast, thanked all of us and he said, you know, we’re gonna do something that I always do at these situations, we’re gonna, we’re gonna have one conversation, you know? I know sometimes people next to each other have a talk and then the other people over here and you have these like little conversations that are happening.

We’re just gonna have one person speaking at a time during this dinner. And I was like, oh, that’s interesting. And so he would lead in a more structured kind of way. For example, a question, what’s something that is really firing you up in life right now? We’d love to hear from everybody. And it was just one by one.

You get to hear like what is exciting everybody while everybody else is eating. And then you kind of like everybody’s paying attention to that person. And although it felt kind of, I. It was weird and different for me to be at a dinner and do that. It almost felt like, you know, in class when you’re in school and like everybody’s gonna read and you know, your turn’s coming up and you’re starting to get nervous and have anxiety, but honestly it was just so much fun and we all got to know each other so much better.

Yes. And there was just one person to listen to the whole time and it was just quiet and it was, it was cool. So we, I, I started doing that at my in-person retreats and oh my gosh, it was such a fun thing, and, and, and sometimes three hours go by and you’re just like, wow, where did the time go? Because you’re all learning from each other and, and stuff.

So I don’t, I don’t know if you do something like that too.

Selena Soo: No, I love that. And you know, one thing that’s coming to mind is when you know you’re doing those group shares, and especially when it’s somewhat large number of people at the table, like more than six. It’s really important for the person leading to make sure that no one is like going on and on.

Cause I’ve been in those situations. Maybe one person shares for two minutes and then someone else shares for like seven or nine minutes and then you know, it continues. And then people have to like leave the event, you know, maybe they have to go, you know, run an errand or they’ve got like a conference call and then it’s like people at the end now there’s only, you know, three people left at the table and they haven’t had a chance to do their share. So yeah, I always, you know, when I do things like that, I’ll say, you know, we’re gonna do introductions right now and, you know, these are the two or three things I’d love for you to share and let’s keep these introductions to three or four minutes and I’ll be keeping track of time and things like that.

Or like, you know, and as they’re talking, and maybe it’s hard to stop someone, but just say like, that was really great. Let’s continue that later. I wanna make sure that everyone has time to share.

Pat Flynn: That’s a good call out for sure, cuz people will ramble. Definitely. And then some people may only have really quick one or two word answers because they’re a little shy and you can just continue that conversation and ask questions sort of like in a podcast interview.

Okay, so what happens next after that? Or like, why did you move there? That sounds really interesting. And then you can just kind of hopefully get this person to feel comfortable. And oftentimes what happens is after they get going and then they’re fine. It’s just the start that’s hard for some people.

And I know that because that was me. This has been really great. Celine, I’d love to ask you cuz you have a free gift for all of us. This is another one of your superpowers is media. And like before we share that link, I’d love to know why we should be thinking about media. Media, right? Because growing online we often think of search engine, engine authorizations, social media, getting to be a guest on another person’s podcast, but is media, media, traditional media still important for us?

And if so, why?

Selena Soo: Sure. So when I talk about media, I talk about both traditional and non-traditional. So the way that I define media is you sharing your message on someone else’s platform. And so that could be a podcast, that could be a, you know, in a magazine, on tv, on a top website. It could be someone sharing an article of yours with their newsletter list.

Maybe it’s doing an IG TV interview. So, and also nowadays, when I think about, you know, influential people, experts, entrepreneurs, I consider them to be a part of the new media because they have platforms, they have audiences of people where they can share your message. So that’s what I’m teaching people, both traditional and you know, the new media.

And I think it’s really important because it’s one thing for you to tell the world, Hey, I’m really good at what I do. But you need other people with authority and with reach sharing your message to more people, the message is gonna, you know, go so much further. And means so much more. And I think that publicity is the fastest way to get that instant credibility.

Whether it’s a podcaster or entrepreneur who is hugely admired by people in your audience to, you know, and a publication like Forbes and you know, being able to put the Forbes logo on your website and being able to say for the lifetime of your business that you’ve been seen in that publication becomes like a huge part of your branding.

And so I think it’s important for everybody to get some media for their business. I think it’s a part of the overall marketing mix to be seen on other people’s platforms versus just talking about the work that you’re doing on your own platform.

Pat Flynn: That is great. And so the big thing is though, how do you reach out to those people to then start, you know, amplifying your message.

I think this is why we all feel often trapped in the content creation hamster wheels, cuz we’re just creating stuff for our own properties. But I think that if you can create stuff for others or have others talk about you, then of course, like you said, the message is gonna be amplified. What are maybe one or two tips that we could have when trying to get on other platforms and get in front of other audiences?

How do we get even access to that?

Selena Soo: Yeah, absolutely. So the first thing is to be intentional. So, you know, often as entrepreneurs there’s a million different things that we could talk about. For example, at one point, you know, I ran a year long mastermind and that was a $30,000 investment. But there’s only gonna be, you know, let’s say a dozen or 20 people in that mastermind.

So as a business business owner, you wanna think about your business like 80, 20. Where does the majority of my revenue come in from? And for me, it’s my publicity offers. Therefore my expert topic is going to be on publicity versus maybe something that we talk about in a mastermind, like how to hire certain kinds of team members.

So you wanna get clear on your topics. And then you wanna think about, you know, what would be interesting to people? What are people’s biggest challenges when it comes to publicity? What are their fears? Why do they think that they can’t get publicity? What are shortcuts and so forth? And come up with a series of story ideas and with your expert topics it’s also really great to think about how you can make them seasonal, because during certain times of the year, the media is looking for certain types of stories. You know, it’s different when you’re, you know, talking about your topic when maybe, you know, end of year and people are in a reflection place and planning for the next year, or it’s September or the summer.

Right, so you wanna be able to modify your message based on, you know, obviously the audience, but also when the message is hitting people, right? When your article and interview is being released.

Pat Flynn: Yeah. I noticed that. I had worked with an amazing PR person her name is Brittany, and she was very like, okay, well what’s happening in the world right now? How can we connect your superpower and your message to what is happening, because that’s what they want. And it’s exactly what you said. So I think that’s really important. I think even that advice could be very important for publishing something on your own website. Right, and how do you, how can you make the thing that you’re creating and the thing that you’re good at, relevant to, what are pe, what’s on people’s minds right now?

And then really, that’s the whole point here. What is on people’s minds and then how can you help them with that? So I really love that. And you know, we could talk about this for a few hours, of course, but I know you have something to offer as far as a free lead manage with some tips and guidance for, you know, getting onto other people’s platforms in this way.

And, you know, I think the whole first part of this conversation about relationships is gonna be the easiest way to do that, right? Because when you help others and develop these relationships, I mean, I’ve seen it without even knowing this is what I was doing. I was pouring into others and they would often see what they could do to help me back in return, sort of even without asking.

And that’s gonna be number one. But a lot of these tips that you have in here are gonna help people even more. What is this exactly? Where can people get it?

Selena Soo: Yeah, so it’s my Impacting Millions Publicity Calendar. So it’s 12 months worth of story idea s, special dates and hooks to get into the media year round.

So yeah, it’s full of just, you know, so many ideas. 40 pages worth, it took a long time to put together. And also tips on, you know, who to pitch and when to pitch and lead time so they can get that to get my 12 month publicity calendar, which is full of over 40 pages of store ideas, tips, and hooks to get into the media year round.

Pat Flynn: Impacting millions. I like how it’s not just like make millions, because when you impact millions, As a byproduct, you will do well and make a lot of money. So Selena, this has been incredible. Thank you so much. So in addition to, where can people go to follow your work and find you and get up to date on the book that you have coming out, all that good stuff?

Selena Soo: Yes. Yes. The best way to connect with me is on Instagram, so I’m at @Selena_Soo. And I love hearing from people that have tuned into my podcast episodes. And so if you wanna reach out and just say hi, I would love to have a conversation, learn more about you.

And yeah, thank you again, Pat, for this opportunity.

Pat Flynn: Thank you. I appreciate you and all the support you’ve provided for me and, and SPI and you know, I’m here to support you back cuz that’s, I mean, this, we’re walking the walk, not just talking the talk here. Right? So anyway, thank you Selena. I appreciate you.

Selena Soo: Thank you.

Pat Flynn: Alright. I hope you enjoyed that interview with Salina Sue, if you wanna check out that free guide for getting on media, it’s very, very valuable, head on over to I hope this was rather helpful for you. Was definitely a great reminder for me, especially now that we’re into the new year, of, you know, how to get out there and start delivering more value and putting ourselves out there. And even if you’re just starting out, you need to remember you still have value to add. It’s that train analogy that I think is really great. It makes a stop here and there, and you can go in and you can provide value to help that train get to where it wants to go even better, versus just trying to take that train off of its path and go somewhere else that’s maybe seemingly more of a selfish kind of ask, right? So how do we help others get something back in return? That’s what it’s all about. So again, for Selena’s lead magnet. And also you could head on over to Instagram and say hello and, and thank her, if you enjoyed this episode, at @Selena_Soo.

Thank you so much for listening all the way through. I appreciate you and thank you to Selena once again, and I look forward to serving you because we have an incredible lineup this year of incredible guests and episodes to help you with your goals.

And again, if you’re not checking out one of our communities yet, be sure to check out because we’d love to allow for you to connect with other people and we’ve created that space. We, we are facilitating those interactions right now and our Pro community, our Learner community is perfect for you.

If you go to, you’ll see what’s available there and hope to see you. Thank you so much. Peace out. Take care, and as always, team Flynn for the win.

Thanks for listening to the Smart Passive Income Podcast at I’m your host, Pat Flynn. Our senior producer is David Grabowski. Our series producer is Paul Grigoras, and our executive producer is Matt Gartland. Sound editing by Duncan Brown. The Smart Passive Income Podcast is a production of SPI Media. We’ll catch you in the next session.

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