Show Notes
My guests on today's AskPat 2.0 coaching call are a couple who have done something incredible. Their son, Tim, was diagnosed with autism at age two, and with severe speech and language and communication disorder at four.
He was reliant on routines. He didn't have awareness of danger, hardly any imagination. He was very unpredictable, and he was finding life very difficult. Sally Wagter heard things like, “Oh, you'd be a lovely mum to a normal child, or there's good homes around here for when he's older.” When he was eight, the school said they couldn't teach him anything academic, and that they should just look ahead to training for assisted working.
But Sally didn't believe them. She never gave up on her child.
Well, Tim just turned 18, and he's amazing. And Sally and Erik Wagter, experienced entrepreneurs, have just launched a website called Releasing My Child's Potential and released a book titled Miracle in Slow Motion to support families with autistic children, and other parents too. But how do they get their message out to the people who need to hear it?
We talk about opportunities for PR, and ways to get attention for a book that's already available for sale. It's a great episode.
Sponsor
Gusto
My team uses Gusto. It has made life so much easier. They make payroll, taxes, and HR actually easy for small businesses. And honestly, I couldn't live without it—truly.
Fast, simple payroll processing, benefits, simple management tools, all in one place. They automatically pay and file your federal, state, and local taxes, so you don't have to worry about it. Plus, they make it easy—once you start adding employees or even just for yourself—to add on health benefits and even 401(k)s for your team. So all those old school, clunky payroll providers, they just weren't built for the way modern small businesses work. But Gusto is. You have better things to do.
You can get three months of Gusto free when you run your first payroll. All you have to do is try a demo and see for yourself at gusto.com/askpat. Seriously, I use it. My team uses it. We are in there all the time. Absolutely love it. Couldn't express that enough. Check it out. gusto.com/askpat
AP 1130: How Do I Share My Story and Get More People to Find My Message?
Introduction:
Ask Pat. AskPat.com Dot com. AskPat.com
Pat Flynn:
Hey real quick, if you have a business or you know someone who does, you probably know that small business owners wear a lot of hats. We definitely do, and some of those hats are awesome, but some, like filing for taxes and running payroll, for example, not as great, right? That's where Gusto comes in. I use Gusto, my team uses Gusto. It has made life so much easier. They make payroll, taxes and HR actually easy for small businesses. And honestly, I couldn't live without it, truly. Fast, simple payroll processing, benefits, simple management tools all in one place. They automatically pay and file your federal, state and local taxes so you don't have to worry about it. Plus, they make it easy to, once you start adding employees or even just for yourself, to add on health benefits, and even 401Ks for your team.
Pat:
So, all those old school, clunky payroll providers, they just weren't built for the way modern small businesses work, but Gusto is. So, let them wear one or many of your hats. You have better things to do. We know this. So, listeners, you can get three months free when you run your first payroll. All you have to do is try a demo and see for yourself at Gusto.com/AskPat. That's Gusto, G-U-S-T-O dot com/AskPat. And seriously, I use it, my team uses it, we are in there all the time. Absolutely love it. Couldn't express that enough. Once again, Gusto.com/AskPat. Check it out.
Pat:
What's up everybody? Pat Flynn here, and welcome to episode 1,130. And welcome to August, 2020. We'll see how the rest of the year goes, but I hope your year's going as good as it could be. And I just wish that you are safe and hope all is well, and you're finding some sort of happiness in this crazy world we are continuing to live in. But I'm here to serve you and show up. And I'm really excited because if you aren't familiar with AskPat 2.0, this is essentially a coaching call between myself and an entrepreneur, just like you.
Pat:
And today, we're speaking with two people, Sally and Erik, who have this... I don't even want to describe it for you because they describe it in a much more beautiful way. And you'll hear at the end of this just how much I want to support them because of what they're doing and helping kids and parents, and those who live with Autism, in a special way through their own experience through their son. And it's just a beautiful story, and I'm just so thankful for Sally and Erik being here. And I want to help out and you'll hear some suggestions with their new book that's coming out, telling this story, how we can get more people to find out about it and plan moving forward after that. So, listen in, and this is Sally and Erik with Releasing My Child's Potential.
Pat:
Hey Sally. Hey Erik. Welcome to AskPat 2.0. Thanks so much for being here today.
Sally Wagter:
Hi.
Erik Wagter:
Thank you, and thank you for having us Pat.
Pat:
Yeah, this will be a lot of fun. So, why don't you, just really quick, start by telling us a little bit about yourself and what it is that you do? Whoever would like to go first.
Erik:
Okay. My name is Erik and I'm here with Sally, who will introduce herself in a moment. I am a husband. Next month Sally and I have been married for 20 years.
Pat:
Congratulations.
Erik:
Thank you very much.
Pat:
That's awesome.
Erik:
It is awesome. And we have two amazing children, an 18-year old, whose name is Tim, and an eight year old, whose name is Sammy. And Sally and I, we've been running businesses together for a very long time. I would say over 12, 15 years. Together, and just to give you a bit of a background, we live in the South of England, a beautiful countryside and the businesses that we have run together, we run a membership for teachers in music education. We provide the lesson plans and accompanied by videos. I, myself, run a training company to train social workers to work with families who are at risk of breakdown using the solution focus approach.
Erik:
But, our newest project that we're going to talk about today, hopefully, is called Releasing My Child's Potential. And with Releasing My Child's Potential we empower and equip parents to experience powerful insights and open up new ways of thinking in order to release their child's full potential. And that business is built, basically, on the last 18 years of our lives, because our oldest son, Tim, he was diagnosed with Autism at the age of two and a half. And I'm going to ask Sally to introduce herself a bit and tell a little bit more about that part of the book that she has written and maybe something else. But so.
Pat:
Thank you Erik.
Sally:
Hi.
Pat:
Hi Sally.
Sally:
Hi. Yeah, basically I'm a teacher and obviously, I became a mum and I didn't know anything about Autism, but my son was diagnosed with it at two. And I don't know if there's any parents out there who've experienced that, but it can take the wind out of your sails because you know how much you love your child, children. And when something seems to be not quite right in their development, it breaks your heart and you just want to be able to help them. And he was diagnosed also with severe speech and language and communication disorder at four.
Sally:
He was reliant on his routines. He didn't have awareness of danger, hardly any imagination. He was very unpredictable, and he was finding life very difficult. And I was told things like, "Oh, you'd be a lovely mum to a normal child, or there's good homes around here for when he's older." And nobody stopped to really think how that would make me feel. At school, when he was eight, they said they couldn't teach him anything academic. And that we should just look ahead to assisted working. And I said, I didn't believe them. And they said that I was just not facing reality; but, you can't give up on your child.
Sally:
And we took him out of school, and we started to work with him in the way that he worked. So, we really started to understand the way his brain ticked, the way he functioned and processed life. We started to really understand him. We joined him in his world. We took all the pressure off him, and we had loads of fun with him. We built up so much trust and relationship and we taught him in any way that worked for him. So, it was like whatever works, we'll do it.
Sally:
And we took him out of school for about, altogether, about seven years. I mean, it's a long story, but I kept so many diaries of my feelings at the time. What actually happened, what was said to me, what worked, what didn't. And I've literally just received in my hand two days ago my book that I wrote about it called Miracle in Slow Motion. And I called it that because his whole life felt like a miracle to me. And it was so sort of stuck behind glass, it felt, for such a long time in his difficulties with communication with me, and how much I longed to have him be able to look at me and talk to me, and want to connect with me.
Sally:
But over a long period of time, jumping ahead, he was 18 a few days ago. And he is the most amazing person. He's a real people person. He has lovely friends, he maintains his friendships really well, he's kind. He thinks of others. He's really flexible and passionate. And he loves his independence. He's got an equivalent of eight GCSE's, including a music diploma with distinction. He's got a place in a music college. He has written so many songs and film scripts. 39,000 words is nothing for him.
Sally:
His abilities are phenomenal and yet, he was written off when he was eight. And I think my ultimate passion is that just because he didn't learn in the way that the school system wanted him to learn, it didn't mean that he couldn't learn. And I feel so incredibly passionate that all children have so much potential, and maybe they don't learn it in that particular way. But they will learn in some way, and I think it's great to leave no stone unturned in trying to find out what helps a child to learn. And often, it's motivations.
Sally:
And you know how entrepreneurs speak, where if you love something, do more of it. And eventually, you maybe earn your money doing something you love. Well, he became an accomplished pianist as well, and he earns money playing piano and editing films. He's only 18, and he's done so incredibly well. So, because I've been journaling so much and writing, I've eventually just done my first book because I wrote such a long book that they said I wasn't allowed to... Because every time I was writing new things were happening that I wanted to write about. So, now they asked me to cut it down. So, the first book goes up to the age of 11, and it shows how we went from a behavior agenda approach to a totally personal relationship first approach. And I've explained how that worked.
Sally:
So, I find it really exciting.
Erik:
Just to explain sort of the business model is that we want to help families in so many different ways. So, we have the book, that is the easiest way to get to us. And from the book, Sally has recorded over 30 videos that contain the biggest takeaways of our journey, the biggest insights. And it comes with a resource book and coaching questions. After that, if people want more intimate time with Sally or myself, then there's one-to-one or group coaching. So, that's sort of the model behind it.
Pat:
Great. I'm just writing notes here. First of all, Tim sounds incredible and you both are heroes. Seriously, you stepped up and now we can serve and help others using the journey that you've had, and the experiences. And I'm so just, I'm amazed that you've documented this whole thing and now we can sort of download that from you. I'm imagining this turning into a movie one day. There's just so much incredible stuff here. The book, Miracle in Slow Motion, really quick, because I know a lot of people are going to be interested. Where might we find that? Is it available already? Tell us more about that.
Erik:
The official launch date is the third of August. But through some technical mistake, I already made it live.
Pat:
On Amazon?
Erik:
On Amazon.
Pat:
Yeah, don't worry. I've made those same kind of mistakes as well. So, you're all good. So, it is available now? Miracle In Slow Motion.
Erik:
Miracle In Slow Motion: From Autism Diagnosis to an Exciting Future.
Pat:
Thank you. And thank you for telling me a little bit about the ascension model, or the book being sort of the start of a journey, hopefully, for many people with you in different kinds of ways. So, it seems to me like everything is sort of set on this path and you've got this incredible story. You captured it. You now know who your target audience is, and how you want to help. You have the start of this funnel and even what to do afterwards. Where can I help out? What's on your mind?
Erik:
Okay. We thought long and hard about this question. One of the reasons why we haven't built an audience yet, or a platform yet, is that because over the years that he was growing up as a teenager, we wanted to respect his privacy and not show him to the world because we kind of wanted permission from him. So, when he recently gave us that permission and his blessing that he really wanted other families to learn from what we have learned, that is when we said, "Well, everything is coming together now. The book is ready, the video resource is ready, and we're ready for helping families."
Erik:
But we haven't got that platform. We haven't got many... And in the long run, I mean, I've been listening to you since you started podcasting. I mean, I have ideas what I can do in the long run. But what we're really curious about, sort of in the first four weeks, six weeks, what can we do have the biggest impact or to reach the most people? That's the sort of thing that we're questioning.
Pat:
Well, there's a 1,001 things you can do, right? And the big trick is, well, which one of those things should you be focusing on? Ideally, it's when we're creating the book, and as the story is happening and unfolding, we build this audience. But I highly respect the decision to wait until 18 to ask permission and then, essentially get the green light to move forward on anything. Now's the time to be able to start building that platform and audience.
Pat:
I would imagine that you have a website and perhaps are starting or thinking about building an email list so that you can stay connected with people who find you, because this book, in and of itself, is one of those mechanisms. Having it out on Amazon, having a search engine with Amazon and having people find you through recommendations. I mean, this is going to be one avenue, but even then we have to figure out other ways too. But tell me really quick about when people find you, where are they going to go? Where are we taking them? Is there a website, et cetera?
Erik:
I'm not sure when this episode will be aired, but the website will be, hopefully, finished by the end of this week. It was Sally's birthday a few days ago.
Pat:
Happy birthday.
Sally:
Oh, thank you.
Erik:
As a present and as a celebration of the book being ready, I really wanted her, not just to, I would call it a ready made website. I wanted someone to really give it some attention so that her sort of vibe is within the website and then, it can attract her tribe. So, when people read the book, within the book we talk about ReleasingMyChildsPotential.com. That is the website where people can go to. When they arrive on the website, we will share our journey. And when they come to a specific page whereby we offer, once they've got the book, they... Well, we've drawn this from our own experience. Sally's been reading books like crazy about Autism all these years. And every time when she reads a book, she goes on Google and she Googles the writer, the author. She tries to find out more information, connection with that person.
Erik:
So, when people come to our website, the second thing that they can do, if they're on the deeper level of connection with us, is to go into the video course, or the video coaching resource. And after that, if they want a deeper level of connection, they can sign up for coaching. So, that is where people will come. In the long run Pat, I know I can put Facebook efforts out, I can drive people to it. We can do webinars. We can start our own podcast.
Erik:
So, I see how it can drive people to our website. I was just really kind of thinking, "What about now?"
Pat:
Right, right, right. And we'll get to that really quickly here. But thank you for sharing that with me. I just wanted to make sure that when we start reaching out and getting more people to find us, that we have something for them to go to and dive deeper into. And that's great. Is the video resource a free resource, or is that a paid resource?
Erik:
That's a paid resource.
Pat:
That's a paid resource. Okay. It might be worthwhile to take one or two of those videos out to share a little bit about them, and to give people sort of a sampling of what's it like in there. And those can be on public places like YouTube, and even on your website, so that people can understand more about what's inside.
Pat:
But anyway, before that, you had mentioned, it was really interesting because you had mentioned something. I thought you were going down one route, but you went down another. And what I'm talking about is, you have this incredible story, right? First of all, no matter what, that should be the focus. This story has to be shared. Wherever and whenever you can have ability to go on somebody else's platform, just like you did here today. I mean, this is going to... I don't want to use the word sell, but it does. It convinces everything that you're talking about to the T, that it's real, that this is heartfelt, that this is something worthwhile. It's something to get behind.
Pat:
I want to support you now because of just the quick two minute story that Sally, you told it in a very beautiful way. And I would highly recommend to see how you can get involved with other audiences and how you can get in front of them so that you can tell the story again, and again, and again, and keep refining it and keep getting to that point. And just similar to like my story, right? But it's different, but how I got laid off from the architecture job, and then I built my own business. And that obviously relates to the target audience that I have.
Pat:
And my goal when I get on another person's show, or to get on another person's channel, or when I get on the news, is to make sure I keep telling that story again, because that's what is allowing me to connect with people. And has them continuing to come back. It's a quick way to connect with people. So, use that story. Don't let that be unheard.
Pat:
You had mentioned going to different authors who have had experiences with Autism and have shared these things before. It might be now worth some time to go and reach back out to them, or try to find a connection to them in some way, shape, or form. Reach out to them on social media, send a direct message via video. Ideally, I would say put yourself in a situation where you can get in front of these people in person, but obviously that's not possible right now in most cases, but online, you can do the same thing.
Pat:
And when you have this story, and you have this ability to relate to somebody, the people who know that this is worth sharing are going to share it, right? I mean, I'm not even in this "niche," but I'm a parent too. So, I relate. I want to share it. I want to support it. Right? I'm going to mention this on social media as soon as I'm done with this call and I'm done with my other calls today. It's that much of an impact. And what you are doing to help others is so important that if you can get even just one or two people that can be the spark that can create this movement that other people can start hearing it. I mean, that's the beauty of the internet with things like this. And we need some more feel good stories during this time.
Pat:
These are the opportunities you create for yourself if you reach out and you're going to get a lot of no's or, "Hey, now's not the right time." But it just takes that one or two person with influence to share to start this sort of snowball effect. You're going to get way more bang for your buck there, than Facebook ads or Instagram ads, or little... Yes, creating a podcast can help, but then that takes time and it takes time to be found in search and to have those stories be heard. So, I would go with what's going to give you the biggest impact, which is going to audiences that already exist and finding and connecting with that leader and to have them be so convinced to share this story with their audience. That's where I would focus most of my energy.
Erik:
Okay.
Sally:
Good idea.
Erik:
Sounds good. And this is, for us, this is our legacy. There are so much more possible. I do believe that the whole thing around Autism, that a lot of parents who are in that world, it is one of these things that from the outside you cannot see it. I've just looked at the stats tonight just before our phone call. In the US, one out of 59 children is diagnosed with Autism. So, it is something. If the listeners who are listening right now, I bet that almost everyone will know someone who has a child diagnosed with Autism. So, it is something that is needed, and I appreciate your feedback around-
Pat:
And that's just the diagnosis, right? There's more kids who are not diagnosed.
Sally:
Yeah, true.
Erik:
Yeah, definitely. And that is another thing. You always talk about niching down or niching down, however you want to say it.
Pat:
Well, you're in England, so you can say niche.
Erik:
Yeah. Yeah. So, the whole concept behind what we have learned how to help a child with this development, his education, his learning. Yes, we are focused on children with Autism, but there is so much in it for parents, their mindset, the way they think, that it is a very broad thing. But we have decided to really focus because that is our own personal journey on the Autism journey. But many parents will benefit from the content of this book and the video resources and stuff like that.
Pat:
Thank you. Yes, I agree. PR could be an interesting play during this time, especially with the book out. The book, along with the story, becomes a great excuse for a news channel or somebody with influence to go, "Hey, this is the time to start talking about this." And like I said, there's so much on the news right now about COVID and the pandemic, and a lot of other things that are just bringing a lot of people down. We need stories like this. And I think that now, especially with parents at home with their kids more, I mean, this is the time to start implementing a lot of your teachings. And a lot of the mindset that you have brought to the table here.
Pat:
I would also look at potentially seeing how you might be able to get on other people's podcasts as well. And not just in the world of Autism. There are likely a lot of other categories that you could be a part of. Health and fitness could be one of them, the kids and family space, getting on other mom blogs and other parent related blogs. Your story is worthwhile for those, even though, potentially, they're not directly related to Autism, there's a lot of other external channels that you might be able to get involved with and inspire.
Erik:
Yeah. Can I ask you a question about the PR? You know you can pay for PR, but do you know if there are websites that whereby, if you have an interesting story to tell, you could register yourself or things like that, do they exist?
Pat:
They do exist. Although, typically those kinds of places get very just bombarded with all stories and none so great, because it's just another platform that people can sort of just spam if you will. And it's hard to find the good stuff in there sometimes. There is a website called medium.com where sometimes these articles get picked up, and you can write a little bit. And these are free to join, and you can contribute to them. And Medium, out of all of them, Medium.com, has probably the most reputable and it's also a great reading experience. And it has a big marketplace of people in there who are looking for stories are well.
Pat:
So, when you categorize your posts there... I even need to do a little bit more stuff on Medium too. But medium.com would be an interesting place. There is something to be said for, especially in a short period of time, to potentially find some help if you have resources and/or potentially a budget for it. I have, if you want, a friend of mine, Brittany Lynn is doing a lot of the PR stuff for me right now because right now, a lot of people are getting laid off. And my story is very relevant right now, right? So, I hired her for a short period of time, a two month period, or three month period, to pitch for me.
Pat:
And essentially, it's her and her team's job to go to the connections and the relationships that they have with podcasters, with networks on TV, magazines, those kinds of things. And a lot of times when you get into one of them, there's affiliates to those websites who pull stories from the main ones and then, your message could start to be spread out even more. I know that in PR it's kind of hit or miss sometimes. But Brittany's done a really good job. I can send you more information about her, if you'd like. But anyway, there's a lot of great people who help with PR too. But that would be, especially with the strength of the story and the times we're in now, and how feel good this is, especially I mean, he just had his eighteenth birthday. And now, he's a pianist and is just incredible. There's so many good things to pull out here.
Erik:
Yeah, just to do him a favor because he deserves it. This whole COVID situation, he challenged himself the other day to play and sing and record the whole musical of Cats without words. And so, he's just-
Sally:
Or music.
Erik:
Or music. And he just filmed the whole one hour and forty minutes, and he put it on YouTube. So, if anyone is interested, go to Tim Wagter in YouTube and he will find it. He's got many, many-
Pat:
How do you spell that? I'm going to...
Erik:
T-I-M W-A-G-T-E-R dot com. TimWagter.com.
Sally:
He also has his own website.
Erik:
Oh, that is TimWagter.com. And Tim Wagter is his name. T-I-M W-A-G-T-E-R, and go to YouTube and you'll find his channel and Cats musical.
Pat:
Nice. I see it. That's awesome. That, of all the videos, has the most views so far. And I would just pass on to him from you, perhaps, just keep doing that. His story is amazing. His talent is incredible.
Erik:
Yeah, we mentor him in becoming an entrepreneur and stuff like that.
Pat:
Cool. That's so cool. So, hopefully this helps and encourages you. Again, like I said, ideally when it comes to promoting a book specifically, it's like, ugh. I mean, I market my books before they're even written, right? Because I want people to come in on the journey, but I know there's some special circumstances here. So, right now is the time to sort of build those relationships and share that story. And it doesn't take much for the wave to begin. And I'm hoping that more people find this, and learn from you both, Erik and Sally. Thank you so much. I hope this was helpful for you, and it was a joy to learn from you.
Erik:
Yeah, and I just want to just encourage anyone that is listening, not that we want to sell many books. But if you know anyone in your surroundings who has a child with Autism, who is struggling, and just is maybe fighting the system with education, doesn't know what to do, or someone who is working with children with Autism. This book, Miracle In Slow Motion, will provide so many insights. And I always think one insight can change the trajectory, difficult word to pronounce, of a child's life. So, we really want to encourage, share it with the people around you.
Erik:
And Pat, we want to really thank you. It was amazing to receive the message that we got some space here to talk to you. So, appreciate it. Thank you very much for everything that you do and that you've done. And you've given me many, many, many hours of joy over the last ten, twelve years. So, thank you for that.
Pat:
Oh, thank you both. I appreciate you so much. Keep on going, and I'll be there to support. I have the book up here with me right now. I'm going to add it to cart right now for you, and can't wait to read it. So, thank you so much. And we look forward to following up with you, and we'll maybe check in with you later to see how things are going.
Erik:
Yes, that sounds really good idea. Thanks for that.
Sally:
Thank you. Thank you.
Pat:
All right, yeah, absolutely.
Pat:
All right, I hope you enjoyed that coaching call with Sally and Erik, and again, Miracle In Slow Motion on Amazon and Releasing My Child's Potential is the brand. And I'm just so thankful that they had the opportunity to come on and I hope their message gets spread far and wide. That's sort of the theme that we talked about today, and I'm very thankful to be able to use this platform to help share their message and Tim's YouTube channel's awesome. And just, yeah, wishing them the best of luck and happy to support, absolutely.
Pat:
If you want to check out AskPat and potentially be a guest yourself, you can check that out at AskPat.com. You can go there and fill out the application page to see if you can get selected to be on the show, just like Sally and Erik today. And I'd love to help you out.
Pat:
And finally, just keep diving in. There's so much great content on AskPat. And like I said last week, if you haven't yet checked out SPI Pro, this was our brand-new membership platform that just came out less than a month ago. And there are hundreds of entrepreneurs just like you in there. Entrepreneurs who have gotten started, who are getting results, who are sharing these results, who are coming together as a group to help and support each other. And it's just a fantastic filtered, fantastic clean and safe place for us to speak and talk and collaborate and learn from each other.
Pat:
And I invite you to come in and apply and see if it's worth your while. So, smartpassiveincome.com/pro is where you want to go. And thanks to you for listening all the way through. I appreciate you so much. And I look forward to serving you next week in the next episode of AskPat 2.0. Thanks so much, take care, and as always, #TeamFlynn for the win. Peace.