AP 1145: Where Are They Now: Danielle West from Intentional Marriages

Pat Flynn:
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What's up, everybody? Pat Flynn here and welcome to episode 1145 of AskPat 2.0. As we're closing in on the end of the year here, you are hearing not just coaching calls between myself and an entrepreneur like you, but here at the end of the year, we are bringing back people who were once coached before and getting an update. Almost like on the Shark Tank when they have a sort of "where are they now" type of thing, it's exactly what we're doing right now. Last week—perhaps if you missed it, I recommend checking it out—we checked out Fritz Westover and his story of how he and his wine business helping people build vineyards took off, and today we're talking with Danielle West from Intentional Marriages. And she is going to give us an update on what she's been up to.

You can find her at IntentionalMarriages.net, and she has a very successful business helping people in in-person, small group coaching situations. That's what it was like before. We helped her out, we encouraged her to get online and to help people in a more virtual setting. And now we're going to get an update post . . . everything and of course post-pandemic, post-COVID. How did that help or hurt Danielle's business, and did she take action on what we chatted about? We start the conversation recalling what we had discussed and what she had learned from that and the big things that she took away. And then we get into where she's going next. So make sure you stick around because this is a great update from Danielle West. Again, you can find her at IntentionalMarriages.net. And let's not wait any longer. Here she is.

Danielle, welcome back to AskPat 2.0. How are you doing?

Danielle West:
Good. Thank you for the invitation back.

Pat:
Yeah. I'm excited to chat and learn more about what's been going on. So the last time we chatted, you had a primarily offline business that we wanted to scale and bring online. And I'm curious to know how you took this advice, and if you could maybe even recall where you landed on at the end of that episode. Maybe we could start there and just kind of give us a story of what has happened since. It's been quite a bit of time, so I'm excited.

Danielle:
Sure. And what's crazy is when I saw you were doing a followup, I thought, "You know what, Pat deserves credit for what's happened here." Because what I was going to do was do these daily videos, and you're like, "I don't know if that's time well spent." And I was just really trying to up my game, and I knew video was really important. And so I backed off of doing that daily video. But I ended up investing in a YouTube course, which was a fantastic investment because if I had done those daily videos, I was just going to throw them up on YouTube without any thought, without any formulas, without understanding the backend of YouTube. So when I did that, from January 8th of this year to July 8th I have done a weekly video on YouTube.

Pat:
Weekly, not daily. That seems a little bit more doable.

Danielle:
What was surprising to me was how exhausting it was just to do it weekly. I don't know what I was thinking, where I thought I could do it daily. So anyways, you protected me from that. So that was a really neat . . . how you just kind of shifted me from one path to another path, and I'm really grateful for that because it kept me extremely busy during quarantine. Who knew that I needed to be so productive during this time. So I didn't think a lot about the quarantine time. And we've even had family members that have gotten sick. So it's been a topsy-turvy kind of season, but it was nice to have something to keep me busy during the downtime.

Pat:
For sure. For sure. I've had something similar with my YouTube lives. It's just kept my mind off of things for sure and kept me productive, kept me showing up. And first question, whose course did you take? I'm curious, if you want to give them a shout out.

Danielle:
Oh, I'd love to. It's the first time I've bought an online course, and it was Sunny Lenarduzzi's Authority Accelerator Program. I'm telling you, she is brilliant. She out-cares anybody I've ever seen of taking care of her customers. She is fantastic. It is an amazing program.

Pat:
I love Sunny. I am good friends with her and can't recommend her enough for sure. And so tell us about the YouTube channel now. What's that like for you and how's it been going?

Danielle:
So it's been going good, but it's a long game, right? And I'm not a video person. I know this is limited thinking, but I didn't feel like I'm a good communicator. So her scripting and teaching you how to communicate more tutorials-like videos really helped me.

And the interesting part was, I had gotten to July, and I was worn out. And I was like, "Okay. Is it worth all of this? This is emotionally exhausting for me." I'm an Enneagram One, if you remember, we talked about last time. I'm this perfectionist. I have set up my cameras and my lights to redo almost every video. And then I don't—and then I fear that I have to put what's out there perfectly the first time, and so that's been a process of learning.

So here's the neat part of this whole story, is I know YouTube is a long game and yet in July, I was like, "Gosh, is this worth it?" And Michael Hyatt said one time, "People usually quit right before a breakthrough."

Pat:
Right before that inflection point. He says that all the time.

Danielle:
Yes, and so while I was kind of sitting back going, "Oh, do I continue? What do I do?" Two weeks later, our local church . . . And some people might be familiar with our pastor's dad, Charles Stanley. But my local church is North Point Community Church who's led by Andy Stanley. And we've been volunteering for the past decade of leading their marriage curriculum. They're familiar with our website that we've been doing, Intentional Marriages, and yet it was the YouTube videos that created a brainstorm for them that said, "You know what, we can't meet in homes." Five to six couples, we would meet for six to eight weeks and go through this marriage curriculum. "But we've seen your YouTube videos, and we're just wondering if, since you've led this marriage curriculum 16 times now, maybe we could have you and your husband go on video and share the marriage curriculum and incorporate some of your marriage journey."

And I'm like, "Okay. Yes. Let's put our marriage junk on the world wide web." So we did. We have filmed the videos. We have shared the good, bad, and the ugly. And so far 650 couples have signed up.

Pat:
Wow.

Danielle:
Yes.

Pat:
That's epic, congratulations. And you started this YouTube journey before the pandemic. Yet you're ahead of what you needed to do to get to this point now where it's this whole butterfly effect. And it's because you took initiative. Great job. That's awesome.

Danielle:
Yeah. So that's been really exciting, and I'd love to share the link, it starts October 12th.

Pat:
Please. Yeah, please do.

Danielle:
May I?

Pat:
Yes, absolutely.

Danielle:
Okay. It's NorthPoint.org/thrive-online.

Pat:
Got it. And if people happen to be listening to this later, they can still go there and see all the things though.

Danielle:
Right.

Pat:
And then your YouTube channel, what's your YouTube channel?

Danielle:
My YouTube channel is Intentional Marriages.

Pat:
Perfect. And then your original website, IntentionalMarraiges.org.

Danielle:
I'm sorry, IntentionalMarriages.net.

Pat:
Dot net. Still available, still there, still going. Cool.

How else has the pandemic sort of changed things for you? The video front and this new opportunity which came about, just absolutely cool. And it's funny how you mentioned right before you were deciding to kind of quit that or change direction, boom, this comes about. So what a fantastic lesson and example. I know your in-person stuff has probably been affected in one way or another. How have you pivoted or adjusted from there?

Danielle:
So, because I was reaching out to more wives, I put a workshop together called Wives Who Thrive Workshop. And learning from Sunny, was best to go through a beta trial. So I went through a beta workshop with them. I took 15 wives through it. I have some amazing testimonials now, because what I've learned in these workshops: it's not about sharing information, it's about sharing transformation. And to get text from these wives hearing some new breakthroughs that they've had with their husbands, it's just been super exciting. So I'm about to trademark. Hopefully I get my trademark received this week for the Wives Who Thrive Workshop, and that's going to be just an extension of our website now.

Pat:
I love it. Wow. That's wonderful. Is this workshop online? It's virtual?

Danielle:
Yes. And it's with the weekly calls. So there's a live component of it where they do the work as they want, on demand, and then we meet weekly online to talk through it.

Pat:
That's fantastic. Another amazing example of a transition that you've made and something that's come about. That's great. What else has been going on? What other fun news that you could share, if anything?

Danielle:
So in preparing for our talk today, one of the things that I'm like, "Okay. I've got to find the bandwidth for this," is when you ask people, "What are you struggling with with your marriage?" people are like, "Okay. That's kind of private." There's still the stigma that everybody's happily married. And if they don't show that they're happily married, there's something wrong with that. So I still find the online conversation quiet, and I respect that. I understand that. So I'm hoping that I find enough bandwidth to move to the podcast because, like you said in our last call, it helps when somebody can come on there anonymously and have a conversation and share it. So that privacy's protected. And I really do hope that'll be another extension the next time we talk.

Pat:
Cool. Well, I mean, I can help you with that. If you have any questions, let me know for sure. But yeah, that goes along to what you were saying earlier, it's about the transformation, not the information. And when you bring people on a podcast or perhaps a YouTube video—but the privacy is a little bit easier on audio—you can pull out these stories. And you having extensive knowledge in this can direct those stories in a way that's going to teach at the same time but also be inspirational and hopefully relate as well. And that's fantastic.

I completely understand the stigma of just like, "Well, I don't want to tell you all the bad things because now I am maybe a failure." But maybe rephrasing that question in a way and/or somehow creating a space that feels safe to be able to open up. I found that in certain groups that I've been in, people have been sharing very personal things that they wouldn't normally share because they've been around these people for a while. They know each other. It's like, "Hey, what we talk about here stays here." We all have this sort of understanding. And I'm sure you're doing a lot of that already, but that's kind of where you would lean into in order to get online vulnerabilities to pop up a little bit more if possible.

Danielle:
That's good.

Pat:
Where else are you headed, perhaps in 2021, that we can get excited about behind your business?

Danielle:
Well, the Wives Who Thrive Workshop is going to be a—

Pat:
That's the thing.

Danielle:
That's the next level. That's the next level. But on a personal note, I just have to say you inspired me so much with your Reels.

Pat:
Thank you.

Danielle:
You are killing it.

Pat:
I've been having a lot of fun with it. I like the short format. It's short enough where I don't have to spend a whole day in production or being creative. I can spend like 30 minutes to kind of come up with a fun idea, and what I'm trying to do is take an emotional moment in an entrepreneur or business person's life and either poke fun at it, or pull it out and showcase it, or just create some quick story about it. I don't know. I seem to have found a medium that really works well for my personality and creativity. So thank you for saying that because it does take a little bit of time. I don't just press record and point to things, as you've noticed.

Danielle:
Yeah, yeah. No, if anybody hasn't seen your Reels, I'm telling you, you guys, you've got to jump on his Instagram and check out his Reels. They are epic.

Pat:
Thank you. Thank you for that. Are you diving into that at all or-

Danielle:
No, because I've been so inspired by yours, I did one Reel that ended up breaking into two because I wasn't monitoring the 15 seconds. But I showed a clean kitchen and how proud my husband feels about a clean kitchen, and then I opened the dishwasher and there's a cat in there.

Pat:
Oh my gosh, yes.

Danielle:
So I'm trying, and I'm a video editor, and I'm still like, "Wow, how did you edit that? "

Pat:
Yeah. I mean, I'm doing a lot of the editing not on the phone. It's on my computer so I can have a little bit more control. I'm using ScreenFlow for Mac and that's how I've gotten some of the split screen stuff going, or I, in fact, have a green screen in my garage that I've never used until Reels came out. So it's finally coming out of the woodwork, and that's where this latest one that I've shown, which I'm sure you've seen, is the networking one where I'm kind of walking in a hallway, it's just a pretend hallway behind me in the background. But anyway, I'm having a lot of fun. Thank you for sharing that.

Danielle:
Sure.

Pat:
I'm going to keep rolling on that. So anyway, this has been a fantastic update. Danielle, thank you so much. We'll point people toward the initial episode so they can hear sort of the before and the after. But now that you've learned a few things since, I think it's almost been a year or so since we've last chatted, what advice would you offer those who are on the cusp of giving up? What would you say to them based on your own experience now?

Danielle:
Yeah. I've been at the online game with our website the last five years, and it has been crickets. And I will tell you keep going, keep stomping on those crickets because it's over the longterm that you will see a result. It's crazy how close I came to just be like, "Okay. This isn't working." The thing is, you are making change. It's just not that measurable change. If you're getting these one-offs where you're making life change, you're making a difference. It's not about making the dollars or the number of followers. You're making a difference, and stay true to that and then the rest follows. That would be my encouragement.

Pat:
Yes. Amen to that. I always say your earnings are byproduct of how well you serve your audience. If you focused on, like you said, serving the audience, getting to these transformations, the followers, the numbers, the dollars will come as a result of that. And that's a beautiful lesson. So Danielle, thank you so much. One more time, where are the places you want people to go to continue on this journey with you?

Danielle:
Okay. Shout out to North Point Community Church, so that's NorthPoint.org/thrive-online. And then our Intentional Marriages for our YouTube channel.

Pat:
Awesome. Well, we'll link to all the places, and Danielle, thank you so much for connecting again today. And congrats on all the success. And there's more to come, for sure.

Danielle:
Thank you.

Pat:
Thank you.

All right, I hope you enjoyed that update from Danielle. A short, quick beautiful update with some great advice, with some great sort of memories there. I remember that conversation specifically because this is not an uncommon thing, having an in-person practice. And especially now during the pandemic, a lot of people transitioning over to an online business and fighting their way through that. And Danielle was sort of ahead of the curve on that and was sort of at the forefront and very obviously doing pretty well now with this. And I think that she's going to be inspiring not just a lot of people who she's helping with their marriages but a lot of people in her space as well.

And hopefully this has inspired you. And if you happen to have an offline business or something that's even more one-to-one, perhaps scaling this into group settings or bringing people into a community can be a great thing. By the way, speaking of community, if you haven't yet checked out our SPI community called SPI Pro, I highly recommend you check it out. You can apply at SmartPassiveIncome.com/pro. And looking forward to seeing you potentially in there. If you have a business up and running already, that's where you go to connect with other business owners. Filtered conversations, a lot of support and safety for the world of entrepreneurship all together. We are there for each other. And again, that's SmartPassiveIncome.com/pro.

Now before you go, just one thing. We are closing in at the end of the year here: make sure you hit subscribe because we have a lot more up and coming episodes, which are sort of like these "where are they now?" episodes. Some great ones that I've already recorded that we have already edited for you in the can, ready to go. And I cannot wait to share these success stories with you. So help me help you by subscribing to the show. Thank you so much in advance for that. Thanks again for all the reviews that came in after last week. If you haven't done that yet, a quick review on Podcasts on Apple would be really, really fantastic.

And most of all, make sure that you don't just sit here and listen but you sit here and you think about your future, you take action, you think about how you're going to implement this stuff. Perhaps now is the right time to start thinking about your goals for the next year, for the next quarter, and what you can do to implement things. What should you start doing? What should you stop doing? What should you continue doing? All these things are internal conversations that I have with myself and my team too. And I'm stoked to potentially be able to ignite that for you as well.

So thank you so much again for listening, and I appreciate you. Hit that subscribe button on that podcast app if you haven't already. Thanks so much. Take care. And as always, Team Flynn for the win. Peace out.