This is For All the Turds Who Send Me Emails

As the popularity and traffic of the Smart Passive Income Blog grows, so does the number of emails I get in my inbox – and that’s totally cool. I love reading emails and helping people out as much as I can, and thanks to those of you who shoot me a message just to say thanks. I really appreciate that.

Sometimes, however, there’s a turd or two in the pool of emails that I receive. That’s right…

A turd.

This message is for those people who send me spammy emails who try to cover the fact that they just want to benefit from this blog and it’s traffic.

——-

Dear Turd,

My name is Pat.

Not “smartpassiveincome.com”. Not “webmaster”. Not “blog owner”.

PAT.

It’s always nice to call someone by their name. Hence, turd.

I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at today, and guess what? I’ve never had to ask for a link exchange or anyone to write a blog post about me. People do that voluntarily because I believe I write good content that’s worth talking about and linking to.

What do you have to offer me? Oh cool…a product that helps people lower their credit score. And you say that’s related to what my blog is about? Well, I wouldn’t expect you to know what my blog is about, since you don’t even know my name.

Do you think it’s cool to go up to someone you’ve never met before and say: “Hello human, would you like to try this new candybar?”

We’re all taught as children to never take candy from strangers, so your method is not going to work.

Try getting to know me first. Make me want to know exactly what you do and what you have to offer. Show me you’re a real person and not a stranger trying to get something out of me. Become my friend.

Do that, and I will no longer call you a turd.

Until then, I will ignore you and your silly emails.

/Rant

——–

Thanks to those of you who have contacted me with legit emails. I have the best audience in the world, and none of you deserve any kinds of offers from people like this.

Have a great weekend everyone!

signature

  • http://www.bloggerbusinessplan.com Allan Ward

    Great article Pat. What are these people thinking when they send these emails? I suppose it’s a numbers game, but it can’t help their credibility.
    Great response!

  • http://enlivenpublishing.com/blog/ Helen Calder

    Pat, your post about spammy emails has given me a chuckle at the end of the day here in Australia. I’m just getting started and am already getting emails about link exchanges and so on.
    Let’s hope they get the message!

  • Howie

    Unfortunately, Pat, I think the art of relationship building has gone completely out the window with some people….especially since the internet is now this huge reservoir of affiliate links and underhanded ways to ‘make money’. The thing that really boggles my mind though is that people really THINK they will make money with this type of approach and methodology. I’d call it wasted time….I’d rather have a list of 100 people who REALLY know me, than a list of millions that I have little to no connection with at all…..

  • Bart

    I had to look up the word ‘turd’ before reading this post to be honest. English is not my first language, but I’m always glad to learn some new vocabulary ;-).

    This is the price you pay for success, isn’t it? The same goes for product copycats. They say that if you’re products are being copied, you should be glad as it means you’re successful (and worth copying) and good at what you do.

    • http://myfavouritepassiveincomestreams.wordpress.com Patrick

      Bart, ik denk dat jij zoals ik nederlandstalig moet zijn. Wat betekent turd in het Nederlands? Ja spams zullen er altijd wel zijn. Ik moet ongeveer drie kwart van mijn mails in de vuilbak gooien.

      groetjes van een Belg

      • Bart

        Ik had nooit gedacht om hier een belg tegen het lijf te lopen. “Turd” betekent niets anders dan hetgeen we achterlaten als we naar het toilet geweest zijn. Een meer kleurrijke invulling mag je zelf geven ;-).

        • http://myfavouritepassiveincomestreams.wordpress.com Patrick

          Bart,

          Als je wil kun je linken naar mij onder twitter bobbywhite of met die gebruikersnaam in een paar social netwerken (niet onder die naam op facebook). Aan u om ze te vinden (bv. er is er een die ervoor betaalt met people in de naam). Ik heb op die manier een goede vriend gemaakt uit belgië, misschien wordt u de tweede, who knows.

        • http://empoweryourministry.com Kevin Ward

          I’m having fun reading your conversations with Google Translator

          OR

          Ik heb plezier het lezen van uw gesprekken met Google Translator

          I’m laughing.

        • http://myfavouritepassiveincomestreams.wordpress.com Patrick

          Yes Kevin,

          My hunch for Bart to be a compatriot of my country was right. Bart is a very popular first name in Flanders, only there boys are given that name I think apart from Bart Simpson maybe in the US (where did Matt Groening find his inspiration for that name?), which my son is watching right now by the way. Did you know that Belgium is very well known for its comics writers (Tintin is probably the best known and the brother of my wife’s grandfather called himself Jijé, who created a great deal of comic characters and formed i.e. Peyo, creator of the smurfs. My american favourite BD is garfield.

  • http://Globalgage.blogspot.com Jeff

    It’s only morning but I am certain this made my day! It’s good to have these rantish posts …shows your human. :)

    I’ll admit that, in retrospect, I’ve been a turd myself. Not a big one, but more like the rabbit pellets. However, being turdly was due to me not knowing proper online etiquette amongst Internet professionals, such as youself. I think experience and honesty made me less of a turd… And more of a baby ruth.

    I wish in had a clever turd joke but instead I’ll just say TGIF!

  • http://www.jamieholliday.co.uk jamie

    Nice one Pat, great post I agree with what you have to say. It is all about connecting and getting to know people and gaining their trust. Keep up the good work.

  • http://moneyforcollegeproject.blogspot.com DJ Wetzel

    Hey Pat,

    I can sympathize with your rant. It is really annoying to get these kinds of requests when you have many legit items on your plate to deal with. It has always bothered me that people feel the internet is so impersonal that they can treat people with a complete lack of respect and completely differently than they would in a face to face scenario.

  • Daniel Sim

    Sorry Pat,

    again please help me fish out my comment, thanks

  • http://zemalf.com/ Antti Kokkonen

    Those emails are quite sad, and I find I usually can’t resist sending them a message offering a Internet marketing consultation to teach them methods that don’t suck. I don’t know why, but none of them has emailed me back… I guess they’re too busy wasting money and effort on sending more emails.

  • http://subject2.com [email protected]

    You sure are nicer than I am about it.

    I’m no where near as popular as you are and it only seems as though I’ve got about 5 regular readers so I don’t get that many spammy emails. Maybe when I grow up into a big boy blog I’ll have to deal with this.

  • http://www.idrawdigital.com Drezz

    Are you talking spammers or opportunistic leeches?

    I’ve had a number of leeches approach me, but usually I just give them a standard shout back saying, your product or blog doesn’t exactly fit the criteria for the audience I’m trying to connect with. Maybe in the future we can look at a different networking opportunity.

    And then end it at that.

    We’re all out here trying to get a piece of the pie, but some people just want to jump the line and get as much of the pie as they can because they don’t know if they’ll ever get any pie ever again. I think its a primal survial instinct – dogs do that when they’re abandoned, etc.

    But I’d like to think that most of us are civilized and we can wait our turn and share the wealth with those who don’t get as much. It just takes patience…

  • http://notaproblog.com Jordan Cooper

    So blog owner, does that mean you’re not going to link to my product? :)

  • http://www.flipthiswholesaler.net Stephani

    Amen, Pat!

    Some people just don’t get it, unfortunately…

    P.S.
    I have this AWESOME real estate education product that I just KNOW your fans will love….

    Hehe.

    • http://www.goodfaithinvesting.com Shae

      LOL! Good one, Steph.

      GREAT letter to Mr. or Mrs. Turd, Pat!

  • http://experimentsinpassiveincome.com Moon Hussain

    Hi Pat!

    Love your post title today! Almost lol’ed at work. What a way to liven things up a bit. Have a great weekend!

  • http://www.freemanlegacyllc.com Ms. Freeman

    LMFAO!!! I haven’t heard the word TURD in like forever!

    It is unfortunate that we have to be bothered with bottom feeders. Bottom feeders are too lazy to work harder to swim to the top to get the fresh food. They simply hang around on the bottom waiting for the scraps and bi-products …ie the Turds of the bigger fish.

    I think most of us here, like to swim WITH the big fish rather than feed off the big fish turds.

    Happy Valentine’s Day to you, your wife and baby Keoni! :)

  • http://www.EngagedMarriage.com Dustin | Engaged Marriage

    Good post, man. As my numbers grow, so do these types of emails. I find many to be entertaining, but they do get annoying after a while.

  • http://www.jewelry-secrets.com/ Jewelry Secrets

    ha, Mr. Hanky strikes again! It’s just as annoying to have the phone ring during a movie from some stupid windshield repair company. Blah! Click! Hallmark makes a great greeting card with 2 characters named Hoops and Yoyo (audio card). Anyway, they have one for flushing your worries away. Funny as hell! They wave to the turds as they go down the toilet. Funny stuff. Makes me laugh every time I hear it. This blog make me think about that. :) Bye Bye turds! lol

  • http://www.seorankings.com Wesley LeFebvre

    Hi Pat,
    Good stuff. But do you think it is always bad to ask to write a guest post on someone elses blog? I mean if the requester has a relevant website/product.

    That seems to be what all of the high profile bloggers, such as problogger.net are recommending you do.

    BTW – I just learned of your blog from the interview you did with him.

    • Pat

      If the product or website is relevant, than it’s ok – but even then, I don’t want to get emails that just say read this blog post without any kind of introduction. Indeed, asking people to help out and review something or possibly write a guest post is totally fine, but as long as it’s relevant and done so in a friendly manner.

      I had spoken with Darren a number of times via email and even in chat rooms via ustream before ever asking him for something.

      • http://www.seorankings.com Wesley LeFebvre

        I agree. That makes good sense.

  • http://erica.biz/ Erica Douglass

    Hi Pat,

    This is exactly the kind of passive-aggressive blog post I can totally appreciate and relate to. ;)

    -Erica

  • http://www.thebuildermatrix.com Ed Doss

    Here Here!

  • http://www.thirtydaygoal.com Colby

    I might have to copy your template for responses back to my “turd” emails. My approach is similar to the one Drezz takes and just state that their product or service does not match my target audience. Anyhow I think I like your approach better.

  • http://www.passiveincomeblogexperiment.com Michele

    I so agree with you. I’m not getting spammy emails but spammy comments on my blog and it’s less than two months old. Um, hello? I agree with the other post, nice and passive-aggressive. :)

  • Robert Hagstrom

    Even with a site up yet, I get tons of emails that offer courses and “income at home” systems for internet business. One I had to email back because their course doesn’t say the price, had no indication as to the content you get, and you have to send them a small amount of money first, and if you don’t like it, they keep that money as “shipping and handling”. I guess they get some people to respond. These sites have a slimy used car sales feel, with annoying pop-ups and other gimmicks, a ridiculous refund agreement, etc.

    As I’m learning and preparing to launch my site, I am having to pour a lot of time and effort into it. As Gary says in Crush It!, you have to be prepared to hustle. Doing these quick-buck things is wasting everyone’s time in my opinion.

  • http://www.surveyosity.com ebele

    You tell ‘em, Pat. Grrr.

    Unfortunately (or fortunately), my blog isn’t popular enough to warrant turds. If I ever do get one of those, I’ll tell them I’m REALLY interested and that now they mention it, there’s this other product that I think would really complement their service/product, “here’s the link”, which would be a direct link to your post right here. :-)

    (rubbing hands with glee) I can’t wait. MUWAH-HA-HAAAAAAAA.

  • http://www.bumpedthetrinket.com Busey

    Great Rant Pat-

    Sometimes you just need to say it like it is. As far as this book Crush It! I have heard nothing but good things about it I guess it is time to add it to my immediate read list…

    Keep up the great work Pat,
    Chris
    aka
    Busey

  • http://smallstepstohealth.com asithi

    I get tired of weeding through my inbox too. I basically removed my email address from my site. If someone wants to contact me, they will have to take the time to fill out the contact form. I have notice a decrease in the mass emails from this one thing alone. And I am not even nice enough to reply to the emails asking me to promote something. I just hit the delete button. Like you said, I work too hard on my site to want to randomly promote something just because some turd ask me to.

  • http://wasdstomp.com Brian Inman

    I haven’t really received any spammy emails. I did receive a life threat about a week ago from another gamer on a comment, but that is about it.

  • http://www.36pounds.com Adrian

    Haha.. now you are becoming really famous buddy! ;D This is the price you pay!

    BTW, 4300 subscribers almost… It just wont stop growing!!!!! :D I think we could see 5000 at the start of March!

  • http://www.ivanwalsh.com Ivan Walsh

    This month I’ve been called Ivor, Evan, Iva and Ian…

    and they want to do bix with me. I mean it”s not that difficult to read the name of the site. Incredible how lazy people can be.

  • http://www.makemoneyontheinternet.com Chris Guthrie

    I’m sure most of those emails are just from bots… the more traffic you get from search engines the more spam you get as that’s how most of them run.

    I don’t see why you’re upset though. Anytime someone asks me if I want to “rank #1 on Google” I’m eager to throw money at them. It’s such a great service /joke

  • http://www.inventionaddict.com/blog Stephen (InventionAddict)

    Pat,

    You rock! I’m so glad I found your blog. Thanks for the chuckle this morning.

    -Stephen

  • BOB

    Dude , I mean Pat,

    I am not into all this blog back scratching. I am just a reader. So two observations; (1) You are airing dirty laundry that I do not care to see, though it did make me laugh. (2) Are your readers primarily other personal financial bloggers, if that is the case you can have your love fest, and I will just follow CNN.

    • Pat

      1) If it made you laugh, than the post did it’s job. it was meant to do just that. We all have a choice to read whatever we want, and I’m sorry my dirty laundry smelt bad to you.

      2) And no, my readers aren’t primarily personal finance bloggers.

      • http://subject2.com [email protected]

        I can’t even spell Personal Finance. The only reason why I’m here is because Pat pays me $100 a week to come by and make at least one comment per post.

        j/k of course ;)

    • http://www.thesaleslion.com Marcus Sheridan, The Sales Lion

      Now that’s a ‘Turdy’ thing to say……

  • http://themickmorris.com Mick Morris

    Pat, spammy emailers should get what they deserve…. so only calling them turds was very diplomatic of you!

    Thanks for the entertaining way of dealing with this issue!

  • http://www.greatleadershipbydan.com/ Dan McCarthy

    Pat –
    I’m a new subscriber to your blog and am really enjoying it. Thanks for writing the response that I’ve been wanting to come up with myself. I may use it, turd and all.

  • http://highlyfavored.affiliateshelpdesk.com Kiesha @ Highly Favored

    I really feel you – I wonder about the logic of these people who leave the kind of comments. I know their automated, so it’s not really people, but there’s someone behind it. I just don’t see how they believe any of this kind of activity to be effective. I don’t like calling people stupid, but spamming is just stupid.
    The only thing I can say, because I like to look at the bright side of things, I see spam as a compliment that my blog is doing well enough for people to want to spam it in the first place.
    I like to keep a positive attitude – that’s the only way I can keep from getting angry everytime I have to wade through 50 or 60 spam messages.

  • http://empoweryourministry.com Kevin Ward

    Hey Pat. I had JUST sent you an email and then thought I would check the blog… then I read “This is For All the Turds Who Send Me Emails”

    My heart dropped… GREAT HEADLINE!

  • http://easysmallbusinesshr.com Dianne

    Love it! Have a good V-day!

  • http://feint.me Anthony Feint

    I get the exact same rubbish pitches for Task.fm. You would think they would be smart enough to use your real name.

  • http://www.thesaleslion.com Marcus Sheridan, The Sales Lion

    Love your sense of humor Pat..Any article that uses one of my favorite words (Turd) in the post is a must-read ;-) …Keep up the great work.

  • http://www.betterlearningbetterearning.com Steven Churchill

    Pat,

    Anyone who uses the word “Turd” in the title of a post deserves props. Does that harm SEO?

    I hope not. I will follow suit with the post I put up tomorrow (2/16/10).

    Thanks!

  • http://www.marcusebarnes.com Marcus Emmanuel Barnes

    Hi, Pat!

    Funny… I recently got a slew of these types of e-mails. Basically what’s happening is that other site owners hire a bot bot service (whether knowingly or not). This may come as part of SEO services. A basic fact: if an actual person visited your blog and wanted to start a meaningful business relationship with you, they would click on the *second* tab in the main menu: “About”. They would then see, “Hey, this blogger is named Pat!” and address their e-mails accordingly. Almost every blog has an About page or something similar on their main navigation menu. If someone is actually writing these e-mails on a case-by-case basis (which I doubt), I have to wonder what kind of message they think they are communicating? I’m confident that most of us here would not want to establish any kind of working relationship with such a person.

    If you get too many of these automated e-mails, you can always fight back by creating your own automation: create a filter in your e-mail program that sends any e-mails that don’t contain any reasonable variation of your name to a “spam” folder (or even delete these e-mails right away). You can tell people on your about page to address e-mails to you using your name — a nice test to see if they have taken a moment to actually learn about The Smart Passive Income Blog is all about.

    Wishing Everyone heaps of Smart Passive Income!

    Yours truly,

    M.E.B.

  • http://www.orbitcast.com Ryan Saghir

    Ha! Welcome to the club man. As soon as you gain any level of notoriety the turds come floating to the top.

    Just wait until you get the barrage of emails from the PR robots who don’t know the first thing about blogger-relations, they’re even worse.

  • http://www.replaceyoursalary.com/work-from-home-blog Alan Mater

    Hey Pat,

    I get the same crap as well. I’ve learned to just ignore them. I get anything from link exchange requests to product promotion requests, and most never address me by name. That tells me they don’t care enough about their business, so why I should I care?

    As others have mentioned, they’re probably just spam bots anyway. I’ve noticed that the majority of these types of emails I get are all for the same websites or products. They just get deleted and forgotten about. ;)

  • http://www.melvinblog.com/ Melvin

    Its fine if its an automated bot. What’s worse is when a real person from a real website/blog calls you that way which is really annoying. I also get pissed off when people misspell my name but I still reply to them and correct the spelling.

  • Georgetta Deleppo

    Wow that is an very interesting article for me. I like your website. Maybe you should write more articles of these type. By the way, sorry for my bad english ;)