AP 1264: Where Are They Now? Andrea Davis

AP 1264: Where Are They Now? Andrea Davis

Pat Flynn: What's up everybody? Pat Fynn here and welcome to episode 1264 of AskPat 2.0. You're about to listen to a catch up call. A Where Are They Now? with one of my favorite people, one of my students, Andrea Davis, she has a website called Better Screen Time, and she's been a part of the SPI community for a very long time.

She was one of the first students in one of our very first courses, Smart From Scratch. She also went to San Diego to come to a workshop that I held, I can't remember what year exactly, it was pre pandemic, but she used that opportunity to create an online course and she has a couple online courses now.

And now we're gonna hear an update on where she has come since the last time she was on the show. And I'm so excited for you to hear this because she's made so much progress. So much so that she's on stages now. Better Screen Time, if you didn't know, is probably one of the most important websites you'll ever visit if you have kids, because it helps you manage screen time, like iPad time and iPhone time, or Android if you're an Android family.

Without the sort of drill sergeant approach, it's, it's more of a, a empathetic approach to that and it's going very well. So, I'm so proud of Andrea and here she is, Andrea Davis from BetterScreenTime.com.

Pat Flynn: Andrea, welcome back to AskPat. Thank you so much for coming back on with me today.

Andrea Davis: Thanks, pat.

I'm excited to be here.

Pat Flynn: I love your shirt. By the way, for those of you who are listening and can't see, there's a shirt that says Do a Lot With a Little. And Andrea sent me that shirt. This comes from Jeff over at Ugmonk. And big shout out to Jeff, by the way. And I just, I love that shirt. It's a great message.

Do a lot with a little, what does that mean to you?

Andrea Davis: Yeah, it means just starting with what you have and not waiting till everything's perfect, because I think my natural tendency is definitely wait till it's perfect. But that's something I've learned from you is just you can't help people if you don't just start somewhere. Right. So this definitely been my motto from the beginning. Yeah. I smile every time I get your newsletter. Your Unstuck Newsletter and you're wearing this shirt. I'm just like, oh, wearing the shirt, . Yay. I love it.

Pat Flynn: Yay. I love that newsletter. It's so fun to get back into sort of regular writing cadence for, for everybody and to have it on the newsletter.

It's just like to know people are opening it and responding to it. It's so good. It's really great. I appreciate that. And you know, it's like one of the new changes that we've made in SPI. Now we're doing this All-Access Pass and like a lot can happen in a short period of time. And I know a lot has happened since the last you and I have chatted, and if you could sort of catch people up who might be listening, who A don't know who you are, tell 'em who you are and what you do, but also if you can recall what we talked about the last time and the challenges that you were facing, then maybe we could start there.

Andrea Davis: Yeah. So my name's Andrea Davis.

And my business is called Better Screen Time, and I help parents worry less about technology and connect more with their kids. So I have five children of my own. My oldest will actually be 18 next month, which is hard to believe. So we were just chatting about, you know, your kids and ages and stages and the changes that they go through.

So a lot has happened since I started my business four and a half years ago, really just out of my own need to be able to help parents manage technology and, and like still keep their family values. And now here I am, like about to send my oldest off and it's such a good feeling like knowing that I've taken the time to prepare her, but also have been helping other parents as well.

And I think when we last talked, we were talking about just the challenges of selling because I think, you know, my business was born in your course, Smart From Scratch. So I had like a million ideas and I was trying to decide which of these ideas should I pursue? And it really just came down to like, how could I make the most impact and also help my own family?

And this was like that one idea that I came down to. But then you think, okay, I wanna help people, but I also wanna make a living doing this and make, make money, and that part of it was super scary for me. So that was something that we talked about last time.

Pat Flynn: And so let's fast forward to today. Like tell us where you're at with the business now, because I know, I know personally it's changed.

I'd love to have an update that everybody can hear in terms of like that feeling of not being able to sell and being scared about that to, to where you're at now, where like, where are you at now?

Andrea Davis: Yeah. So I just felt a lot of hesitation about selling, but then when I had the mindset of No, I'm actually going to help people, then that, that really changed things for me.

So we have two online courses. One is called Creating a Tech Healthy Family, and the other is called Untangling Teens in Tech. And we also, I've been doing some speaking as well.

Pat Flynn: Great names by the way.

Andrea Davis: Yes. Yeah, you, you helped me with the, the untangling teens in tech, I think of you every time and yeah, we landed on that name when I actually came to San Diego and did your live workshop, which was phenomenal.

And yeah, since then, we have hundreds of parents in our courses. You know, we've grown by leaps and bounds on Instagram and my email. And now it's just gotten to the point where parents are, I'm like a go-to, like when parents have questions about when should I give my kid or my teen a cell phone? You've done this before, what, what should that be? What should that look like? Then parents are kind of turning to me and asking me those questions, and I've found as well that schools and communities want to provide those answers for the parents in their community or the parents in their school. So one of the ways I've been able to meet that need is to go out and do some speaking.

And you know, I built this business intentionally, mainly based on my online courses, because I wanted to be home with my kids, right? And so, as the interest and demand has grown for, for what I'm doing, I'm of course having to be really intentional about what I'm saying yes to. But you referred me to a great speech coach, and so I recently, yeah, I recently did his course and it was a group speech club. Basically.

And it was phenomenal and it was, I just feel like, like I feel like I was led to you, but I also feel like you've led me to other people that just came, like just the right time when I needed them in my business. And Mike is one of those people. And I just, interestingly enough, while I was taking his course, was asked to give a keynote speech at a conference for parents, and I was like, perfect Mike's, Mike's prepping me for this. So I just did that in October and got up there and spoke alongside other speakers and that was pretty amazing experience.

Pat Flynn: I want to know more about that talk and what are some of the big things. Mike, who, by the way also was my speech coach back in 2014 for a couple talks like that, just again, it's, and you're a prime example of this.

It's like when you really want something, you go to the expert who's done it before and you, you just learn from them and you've, you've done that time and time again and you've always executed. I mean, it's one thing to get that help. It's another thing to like do the work and make it happen. And you've done that and I'm so proud of you for that.

What were some of the things, the big things that Mike taught you when it came to your time on stage and the message that you're sharing?

Andrea Davis: I just was so prepared because I, before that I actually traveled and gone to schools and done a parent night before, but it was more from, so my background is in teaching, so I was a stay-at-home mom for a long time, but my degree's in secondary ed.

And so I know how to get up and like teach a class, but to get up and like keep people's interest and really motivate them to want to change is another thing. And so I think the main thing I learned from Mike was just prepare and practice because I would just think, well, I know this stuff. I've shared it on podcasts, I've written about it.

But to get up and to really know like your, how you're gonna start your intro and your outro and like what are your main points that you wanna hit and how can you pause at like a certain moment so that the audience really grasped the importance of what you're going to share. And so it was nice because when I got up to give that speech while there's still things I would love to do better because that was my first time giving a keynote. I still just like, I felt like I was just able to be so much more impactful and share that message because I was prepared and I got up there and I shared my story and yeah, it was just, it was a really rewarding experience and I didn't think I would say that. And he also just prepared us for those dark thoughts that would come into your mind, because I think you think, okay, I've prepared, I know my stuff. And then right before I went to go on the stage, I started to think, what am I doing? Like what am I doing here?

I'm just like, this is scary. Right? And so, He actually showed us this just awesome clip with Hugh Jackman. It's, maybe you've seen this from the, the Greatest Showman, but he was auditioning or just practicing with all the people there. And he wasn't supposed to be singing because he just had surgery, but he like couldn't stand it.

And so he just starts belting it out and then everybody started singing with him. And so that was like Mike told us to picture those people that are all cheering you on when you're about to get on stage in those dark come into your mind. And so I just started thinking, no, a lot of people have helped me get here, and there are parents that are waiting to hear this message.

So I just, yeah. So many things that I learned from him really.

Pat Flynn: Good for you. Good for you. And shout out again to Mike, who, who helped me in, in very similar ways. I mean, the practicing is key, but it's not just practice, it's practicing the right things. It's the choreography. That you practice. Right. And the fact that it's, it's a performance.

It's words, yes. But it's also how you deliver the words and there's a right way to do it. And again, we, we, I mean, you know me, I've spoken on stages, you know, hundreds of times now, and each one, I try to focus on something that I can improve on from the last. So it's never gonna be perfect. But I'm curious, are you gonna be continually seeking out more opportunities like that?

Or are you gonna, are you kind of like, okay, that was like, I'm good. And, and go back to-

Andrea Davis: No, like I would love to do a TED Talk. and I even after doing that, I think why, why why put yourself through that? But it's because I think when you have a message that's so important to you, you wanna share it and you want as many people to hear it as possible.

And when it comes to technology, I just feel really strongly that, that we need to slow down a little bit with our kids, but we also really need to shift our mindset from just monitoring and, and doing more on mentoring, especially as I'm sending my oldest off. Like, you're not gonna be there to tell them to turn things off, but, but that comes with time and I think that my experience of having been a teacher and also just having five.

I've watched that, that kids have these ages and stages of development and it, it comes with time. And so we just, we have to be really mindful of that and I, I feel really strongly that I need to share that message with more people.

Pat Flynn: Yeah. I love it. Love it. I'm curious because this is something that I'm seeing in, in terms of of a different kind of pandemic, and that's the pandemic of applications like TikTok in the lives of our kids. And I'm curious to know like, how are you, like this whole topic of screen time is super spiky, right? Like th this is not an easy niche to put yourself in because there are opinions, I'm sure you've come across right, and people who think things should be a certain way, but that also breeds a huge opportunity to be a voice that some people can latch onto, which is, as you can see happening already. And yes, that means you'll also have a line in the sand and there's gonna be other people on the other side. I'm kind of changing my question here. I'll talk about TikTok in a sec, but how have you dealt with the, very loud, opinionated opposition to the way that you teach what you teach.

I think we all can agree that, you know, screen time is something that is, is very important to consider when it comes to your kids. And we all know that the more, like if a kid's on a screen for 24 hours a day, that's very unhealthy, but people have different ideas on what the healthy version should be.

So how do you put yourself out there? How do you manage those dark thoughts that come in when you feel that energy from the other side. I'd love to hear your thoughts about that, cuz I can empathize with you on that for sure.

Andrea Davis: Yeah, I appreciate you bringing that up because a lot of people don't see that and recognize that that is a very challenging part of my business. And there are days when it is hard , and especially like now that you know, there's Instagram Reels, quite often with a real, those will hit people that aren't in your audience. So if I just post a post, then it's my audience. Most of the people that agree with me, right.

But I, if I post a Reel quite often it's in, on Instagram, it's getting sent to other people and Oh yeah, I get. We'll take some heat for that. But again, I think it's, there's definitely things that I've learned from you. Like if it's someone who has an honest and sincere question or a valid. , like counter agreement or they're disagreeing.

But if they're doing it like thoughtfully, then I can enter in that conversation and have a respectful conversation. But obviously there's other people that jump in that don't, that they just see things completely different. But what I go back to, I guess, is number one, just watching how my kids are turning out and not that my kids are perfect and not that we still aren't going to have challenges even related to tech because I know that we well, but as I look at my oldest, in fact, she ha was just writing her college essays and I didn't know like what she was gonna write them on, but she had one where she had to just talk about like basically kind of how come to know herself or a challenge that she'd overcome. And I went through and I was reading her essay and it was all about how when I was little, my parents put the TV in my closet because that's what we did. And we just pulled it out for like the Olympics and family movie night. And then yeah, as she got older, like we handed over a smartphone too soon and we went back to a brick phone cuz that's all that was available.

And you know, that's why I started Better Screen Time was to help parents avoid that. But she kind of went through that whole scenario. But at the very end of her essay, she just said, I'm so grateful that my parents had these boundaries because. I see so many of my peers that are comparing themselves to other people who really don't know who they are because they've just been looking on social media to, for their self worth, basically.

And so when people say that, I'm like, you know, I have a happy, confident, almost 18 year old teenage daughter, which in today's world is kind of hard to do to. And again, it's not that she's perfect or that we're perfect, but the proof's in the pudding, right? And like I think that we're all gonna handle tech differently.

We don't all have to do it the same way. And I teach that a lot, that like every family's different, but there's principles that are very helpful. Healthy families can follow. And I, and then I also will share research because I do do my best to stay on top of the research. And I actually like digging into the studies and looking at, you know, what, what the latest research is.

So I have no problem sharing that. And then sometimes I just have to, not answer, you know.

Pat Flynn: Bite your tongue. Yeah, yeah. No, I, I know how it is. And it's hard because you, you like, especially with the algorithms from things like Instagram or TikTok, when you put something out there, it can reach people who will now judge you and your entire life based on 15 seconds.

Yes. And it's like, that's the part that I have to continue to remember. It's like they don't know me and I can't get upset about that. They haven't had a chance to know me, so I'm going to make their point invalid because of that. And that's, that's kind of the story I tell myself. We had a, it was a TikTok and an Instagram Reel? No, it was a YouTube Short, excuse me. It was a YouTube Short on the Pokemon channel has, it has like 17 million views now. And it was about, like a scam, somebody purchasing a card and ended up turning out to be fake. And in the beginning it was like mostly my audience, like, oh my gosh, can't believe this happened.

Like, thank you for telling us the story so we can all avoid it, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And then the algorithm picked it up, and then it was people who didn't even care about Pokemon, who were now commenting. Anybody who pays for Pokemon is an idiot. How can people spend their money on such worthless items?

They're starving people out there who could use that money, right? Like all that kind of stuff. And it, you wanna like, yeah, come on like, let me tell you everything. Yeah. And then it's just like, ugh, this is just like, they're not in my audience and therefore I'm not gonna pay them attention. Right. I'm gonna go to the people who do care, who do love me, who do you know appreciate me, who would leave positive, constructive feedback, and even negative, but yet respectful and constructive feedback to, to help, to ultimately help the brand and, and help the community.

So anyway, I'm right there with you on that and you, to go back to my earlier question that I started and then stopped, like TikTok is becoming a pandemic for our children. There's been a lot of things about people wasting many, many hours. In fact, I did a 30 day TikTok challenge. You may have seen me talk about that.

I'm now on a TikTok detox because I found that I find my way through the videos that take away hours of my day because they're just honestly too good and hit the endorphins just right and, and make me feel a certain way. Then you know, eventually I turn it off and then, then back to where I was with less time.

Andrea Davis: So, well, there's actually studies on that, like TikTok's algorithm is like by far the best out there. So there was actually an article in the Wall Street Journal going through this whole analysis of why it's so effective. And anyway, theirs is like one of the most, yeah, addictive out there, right?

Pat Flynn: So then like now that my son is, for example, 13, the challenge is, well, how do we allow him to still potentially get benefit from the platform. Cuz there is some benefit, there are some good parts of it that you could find and, and feel good vibes from and, and build a community on. But at the same time, it's like, those things are meant to keep you on those platforms. And so there's this dichotomy of do we just not let 'em use it at all?

Which then can have them turn around and do it behind our backs, or even when they're off on their own, like do it way more than we would ever want them to, or help them learn to make those mistakes on their own and you know, sure, maybe get bad grades so that they can realize the consequences of do, like there's so many ins and outs of it, and this is the kind of stuff you talk about, not just TikTok, but just in general screen time and such.

So if anybody's listening, I'm not looking for an answer here, cuz, yeah. I would take a whole nother episode days about those kinds of things. Yeah. But in case people are curious about the resources that you have about this, where can they go? Or even if they're just curious about your journey, Andrea, and, and wanna see what else you have going on. Where, where should they go to find you?

Andrea Davis: Yeah, so our website is BetterScreenTime.com. And you can find me also, ironically, on Instagram better, at @BetterScreenTime. And we have a lot of great resources, but I help parents with managing their, their tech habits too. And it's interesting how starting a business I've increased my time on a screen and I have to like go back to those, those values and, and really just our family tech plan that we, we built together. That's one of the things that I help families do is create a family tech plan together, because that helps us as parents to be accountable as well.

And then kids see mom and dad are in in on this too, and we can do this together.

Pat Flynn: I like that. That's really smart. Andrea, thank you so much for coming on today. It's been a pleasure to reconnect with you and congratulations on what has been a long journey. I know because we've started working together for a very long time with Smart From Scratch, but you've done the work, you've put in the right things, and then I'm just happy that through the communities that you're in inside of SPI and through the connections, you're finding all the right people and continuing to grow.

Continuing to put yourself in a position to be a little bit nervous before a a stage talk, for example, but that's where the biggest things can happen, is right at the edge of that comfort zone. A little bit outside of that even. Really proud of you. Keep up the good work and you know, I'm here for you. If you ever need anything, just let me know.

Andrea Davis: Thank you so much. I, you know, I'm super grateful for you and I've been following you for such a long time, and you've been such an important part of my entrepreneurial journey. I would not be here without you, so I am grateful for you every day, really.

Pat Flynn: Oh, thank you. Andrea means a lot. Take care.

Andrea Davis: Okay, thank you.

Pat Flynn: All right. I hope you enjoyed that episode and catch up with Andrea Davis. Again, you can check her out at BetterScreenTime.com. Andrea, keep going. Can't wait to have you back on and get an update, or just for you and I to connect and have coffee at some point because we need to catch up. And a lot has happened.

And I mean, you had once come on to tell a story about how your house had burned down and to go from that to where you're at now. I'm just so proud of you. So proud of you, and there was so much more to look forward to in your story, in your journey, and you're helping make an impact on so many people's lives in a, in a world that is so device heavy.

So kudos to you cuz that's not an easy task for sure. So keep up the good work Andrea, and thank you for taking action and, and just being a person that does the work that's required to get the results. Thank you so much and with you inside of SPI Pro and all that stuff, like you can connect with, I mean we'll connect there as well, but just a shout out to Pro and the courses that you've gone through and all the other students who are going through them too.

Hopefully this inspires you and if this does inspire you, I'd highly recommend checking out the communities that we have to offer. We have so many more communities than just Pro. Now we have the All Access Pass. Of course, we can get access to our pathway through our course catalog. Yes, you can get access to all of our courses.

We used to sell them individually for hundreds of dollars. You can get them all now for a very low price. But here's where the magic comes in. It's not just access to the courses, it's access to the pathways through those courses, and the community and my team who can help you get through them and hold you accountable and give you homework and all that good stuff.

It's awesome, like you have to check it out. So go to SmartPassiveIncome.com/community, or if you wanna check out the All Access Pass specifically, SmartPassiveIncome.com/allaccess is the place to go. And you'll see very quickly how it is the right thing for you right now. If you've been looking for help and you've been trying to do it on your own and you can't, well, let's do it.

So we'll see you there, SmartPassiveIncome.com/allaccess and I look forward to serving you in the next episode here on AskPat. Until then, cheers, I'll see you the next one.

Thanks for listening to AskPat at AskPat.com. I'm your host, Pat Flynn. Our senior producer is David Grabowski. Our series producer is Paul Grigoras, and our executive producer is Matt Gartland. Sound editing by Duncan Brown. AskPat is a production of SPI Media. We'll catch you in the next session.