AP 1261: Where Are They Now? Stacy Brookman

Pat Flynn:
What's up everybody? Pat Flynn here and welcome to episode 1261 of AskPat 2.0. You're about to listen to a Where Are They Now? episode with Stacy Brookman.

This is actually her third time on and it's been neat because we've gotten to sort of follow her journey as we've come along. First time she was on, she launching some courses to help women who were in abusive relationships. She's made a little bit of a pivot since then and especially since the last time she was on. The last time she was on, she ran a very successful summit and now things are a little bit different and there's like big light bulbs going off and it sometimes takes some time for that to happen, to find your true voice, to find out exactly what direction you were meant to go down. And Stacy's definitely found that.

And you're going to hear her talk about her world of public speaking now. You're going to hear her talk about the book that we once talked about. What has happened with that? Well, we're going to give you the update here and this is a great one, especially if you are on the journey along with Stacy as well. So here she is, Stacy Brookman from realliferesilience.com.

Pat Flynn:
Stacy, welcome back to the third time here on AskPat. Thank you so much for taking the time.

Stacy Brookman:
I'm in the three time club.

Pat Flynn:
Yes, actually you were one of first people we coached back when AskPat changed format and I think you were on episode 1,006 from several years ago, and then you came on a couple years later to give us an update. You had initially talked about public speaking and writing books, and I know that the last time we chatted, actually, why don't you give us a sort of time travel remembrance of where you were the last time you were on the show in case people didn't catch that one. Where were you before? What were the challenges that you were having? And then we can just kind of go from there.

Stacy Brookman:
Right? Yeah, so I think the, very, gosh, was it the original one? It was starting to write a book or trying to, and also helping people heal from emotionally abusive relationships through a course that I was doing. And I think the second one I had just done, or maybe it was about to do, no, I think I had just done a summit, which was amazing and grew my business, grew my list and things like that, which was really, really cool. And I still have that list and it's continued to grow as well as doing, speaking on other people's like the podcasts and summits and things like that. So that has been really an amazing ride, which has been quite fun.

Pat Flynn:
That's awesome. I know that was a challenge for you initially was the public speaking thing and getting on other stages. How are you feeling about that now looking back at the other version of Stacy before all that? What would you tell yourself, somebody who maybe is listening who's also kind of wanting to get on those stages, wanting to be on other podcast, but now that you're on the other side of it, what advice would you give your younger self?

Stacy Brookman:
Just have compassion for yourself and I have compassion for my younger self. Listen, I mean there's one way, there's multiple ways to get your message out, but speaking is one of the most effective ways and it doesn't have to be scary. You can do it. I remember I'm like, my palms were sweaty. I actually went to Toastmaster and I think that was one of the biggest things I've ever done. The most amazing things that helped me get over that.

Pat Flynn:
Good for you.

Stacy Brookman:
Of course. But just actually doing it. Just do it and have something that you can talk about like your expertise. You're sharing it with the world, you're sharing with people who you can actually help. And that's just been so fun. And now I really don't even need any preparation. I know what I'm saying and what I'm doing inside and out. So it doesn't matter what questions they throw at me, I can answer them and I feel really confident about that. So it's been really fun. This is a different type of me.

Pat Flynn:
I'm so happy to hear that. And congratulations.

Stacy Brookman:
Thank you.

Pat Flynn:
I mean that's a big hurdle to overcome for sure. And I do agree with you. I think speaking, there's just something about it. It almost forces you to understand how to best convey that message.

Stacy Brookman:
Exactly.

Pat Flynn:
How to tell that story. So you've probably told the same story many times and it's kind of iterated over time. Are you speaking on stages and essentially sharing the same thing again and again or are you being asked to speak about different things?

Stacy Brookman:
Well, I've actually pivoted my business, so I'm speaking about different things now, but it actually all relates. It all relates. So I do tell some of the very same stories, just in a different aspect of it. If it's the same type of story, but hey, here's a little different tweak on it that will resonate with the audience. So I know that if I'm speaking on a podcast for executive women, I can tell that story and have the angle for that. But if I'm speaking on a trauma to triumph type of podcast or summit that I just did, it's slightly different for those type of people. But it's the same message. It's my story, it's my message and my growth actually. And so it's easy once you get started and you get a couple under your belt, you're like, okay, it's not as hard as I thought it was. And then you just start to be like, okay, I'll get on anybody's podcast and do anything or summit or speaking stage even. So it's fun.

Pat Flynn:
I found that to be the case too. I tell similar stories but in a different way to, depending on who the audience is. And even my one presentation about superfans, which turned into the book Superfans, I have different companies, different people ask me to speak to their audiences about it and I can just change a thing here or there. Maybe the example I use in the second half is not what I used before, it's now relevant to e-commerce or something. So you can kind of mix and match and it's cool that you're already at that level, which is great. You mentioned a pivot. Tell me about what this pivot was, when did it happen and why?

Stacy Brookman:
Yes, so I was teaching the course about how to recover from your tough life stories, emotionally abusive relationships and things like that, which happened to me like 12 years ago. And I realized that a lot of women involved in that. I wanted to do coaching, but the coaching was like, oh, I don't know if I could actually do that. And psychologically do that, especially when they need so much help that way. I'm like, okay, I can give you a course, I can teach you how to write. But as far as coaching, not so much. So I actually got certified with the life coach school this past year and I realized how I was a six-figure earner, I was in corporate, I was a consultant leader, all of that sort of thing. And I still was in a relationship like that. And so I thought, how did that show up in my life, in my work life?
So I realized I had imposter syndrome. I always felt like the least person in the room, even when I was the leader and the person who brought the ideas. I overworked to prove myself and all kinds of things like that. I was always overwhelmed, overworked, and trying to just run on a hamster wheel to prove that I was worthy of the current job I was in or the next job that I wanted to get. And so those are the women now that I work with, that I coach one-on-one. And I coach about getting out of that imposter syndrome, getting to the C-suite on your own terms because you don't have to fit square peg into a round hole. You can actually get there in your own style. And I love doing that. I love doing the one-on-one coaching. I knew I wanted to do that at some point. And now that I have certification and experience under my belt, I'm like, this is fun. This is, building my business that way is so amazing. I'm like this is, I'm hitting the groove. And so yeah. That's very cool.

Pat Flynn:
That's amazing. So the coaching thing is definitely new for me to hear from you, and it's not always an easy thing to do to one-on-one coach. How did you, I know you got certified for that. What were the biggest lessons that you've learned when it came to how to be a great coach? What's your style? How do you approach a person who especially has gone through some stuff in their life and can be very traumatizing for them to even talk about these things? And I'm not asking you to tell me how do you coach somebody through trauma, but just your approach to coaching is what?

Stacy Brookman:
Yeah, so I love that we all, helping people understand that they have choices. Because when you're stuck, whether it's in trauma, whether you're stuck in a job or feel like, okay, there's pressure from above, there's pressure from below, we have fewer resources, we have more demands, and you feel like you are stuck. And so one of the things, one of the first things I do is help women leaders open their minds as to what choices do they have. And sometimes, believe it or not, the choice to overwork, to try to prove yourself, is your own choice. It's in your own mind that I have to do this so that someone else will approve of me or feel good about me or sponsor me or something like that. And you really, when you start realizing it, you really don't necessarily need somebody else, somebody else's approval to be a whole and complete person and a great leader. You really don't.
And so once you open that up and you realize it's just sentences in your mind that are saying you're not good enough, or you should have done that report better, or you need to work until 10:00 PM in order to get this done, those are just sentences in your mind causing your feelings and then just really causing your actions. And when you realize that you are in control, that is a game changer for all of my clients. And I can see when that change happens and then they're like, oh my gosh, this is the most amazing secret that I wish everybody knew. And so yeah.

Pat Flynn:
That's so cool. Are you coaching virtually? And if so, what tools are you using to do that?

Stacy Brookman:
Yes, I'm coaching virtually over Zoom. And so we just schedule on, I have a book like a boss scheduling component and I do different things because sometimes I coach people on speaking or having a signature talk. Now that I've done that and mastered it, now I can help them. Sometimes it's all about imposter syndrome. I have a beta program that's coming out in January that's all about, actually it's open now, but it's all about confident leadership skills. So getting those skills that you need to be in the C-suite before you even get there, it's going to benefit you whether you get there or not. And so being incredibly confident as a leader is going to make you a better leader, but also communicate better right where you are up and you've got to communicate up, but you've also got to communicate down and then sideways to your peers as well. So it'll make you confident all the way around.

Pat Flynn:
So good. Thank you for that. I want to ask you about book writing. I know this is something that has come up a couple times and I believe the last time we chatted you had gotten a deal, I believe with a hybrid book publisher. What has happened since then? Did a book come out? Are you still in the process of writing it? How did that go? I'd love to hear the juice because I'm working on my next book and I need some inspiration.

Stacy Brookman:
I don't think I'm going to inspire you in this way, unfortunately.

Pat Flynn:
Well, let's hear the tea.

Stacy Brookman:
Yeah, so I realized in my pivot that the book that I was writing would not necessarily serve me well. So when I first originally wanted to write a book, I wanted to tell the truth about that abusive relationship and waited till my kids were 18 and all of that sort of thing. And then I realized I don't have that desire anymore because I know what the truth is and it's not like I don't need that. So then I thought when I was still doing my summit and teaching the course, maybe I can do it as a, and this is I think when the last time we were talking, maybe I can do it as a little primer to help people through that sort of thing. And so that was pretty exciting. But then I started doing the coaching and I'm like, this is that one-on-one, that personal attention. So somebody can, I don't know, there's so many books out there. Somebody can read the book but never necessarily get that component out of that. So I actually dropped the ball on that one. I will tell you that.

Pat Flynn:
Well I don't...Maybe you put the ball down, right?

Stacy Brookman:
I have put the ball down, right. Yeah. So I've got, I'm building up this business and I do, I would love to because I've got 30,000, 40,000 words written. The other thing, I couldn't quite see how it could, the structure of it, and maybe it's just me. I need to see what that, I was going to be like, here's the story, here's the lesson, here's something that you can take away. Here's some exercise that you can do. And I wasn't quite sure how that could fit into a memoir of, a working memoir, or I don't know. I just couldn't quite see that. So I'm, every time I went to write it was just pulling teeth. So I'm like, okay, if I'm going to put down something...

Pat Flynn:
I think that's really smart for you to listen to yourself and gauge your energy for that because your energy's obviously getting put into the personal connections. And even with the stories you tell on stage, I mean people are there and they're listening or they're watching and they can have that connection that's a little bit sort of removed from a book and maybe the book and the words that you've written, I mean, you don't want to just publish it because you have it. That's, that's a very common mistake that a lot of entrepreneurs make as well. There's this sunk cost fallacy they call it. It's like you've put in the work for that, so you might as well, not always. So I think it's really smart of you to be conscious of that, but maybe like your talks, you could take parts of that or pieces of it and turn it into something that is relevant to the person or the people that you're speaking to in that time. So it's not all a waste.

Stacy Brookman:
And so it's all saved and things like that. And I've heard, you know, you can take, you can give lessons or speak on stage and do like that and turn that into a book. I just don't necessarily have this sequential type of thing. So yeah, it's a work in progress. It's still on my computer and there waiting. It's just not next on the to-do list right now.

Pat Flynn:
Yeah. No, I appreciate you for sharing that and being honest about it. And I think it's a really good example of, hey, not right now. I have other things to do, to focus on, put the blinders on and let's lean into who it is that you're serving. And it seems like you're doing that really well and the business is growing and just congratulations on all of that. For anybody listening who's curious about where to go and follow you and your work, where should they go, Stacy?

Stacy Brookman:
You can go to realliferesilience.com right there. It talks about women who are fed up with the traditional ladder climbing at corporate and they want to get to the C-suite on their own terms. And so I have lots of resources there. And again, the business was called Real Life Resilience the last time we talked and it still is, it's still about resilience. It's just a slightly different format. So love it.

Pat Flynn:
I love it. Well done on the pivot and congratulations to you and look forward to catching up with you in the future and see where you go from here.

Stacy Brookman:
Okay, I'll be number four timer then.

Pat Flynn:
Thank you, Stacy.

Stacy Brookman:
Awesome. Thanks. Bye-bye.

Pat Flynn:
All right. I hope you enjoy that episode with Stacy Brookman. Again, you can find her at realliferesilience.com. And I just love this episode. It's always a great example, things like this, when it comes to how to do business right. Sometimes you don't know necessarily the right path for you, but you go down a path of interest, something that speaks to you that you're passionate about, just like Stacy did with helping women through abusive relationships. And that has since updated. I don't want to say even change. It's morphed, it's evolved, it's adapted, and she's found herself in this and she's found her medium, right? Yes, she's on the airwaves and yes, she's writing, but she found the stage and that's where you can immediately see the impact.
Sometimes, I remember speaking multiple times while on stage and after saying something or telling a very heartfelt story, you could literally feel the reaction from the audience and for something as important as what she's helping people with, I mean, it's just amazing.
So I love it. She now helps women who are fed up with the traditional corporate ladder and she gives you the resilience routine that you need. You can actually check out her remarkable resilience routine over on our website at realliferesilience.com, all things leadership and climbing the corporate ladder in a different kind of way. So thank you so much, Stacy. I appreciate you and I look forward to seeing you or having you see me, hear me, on the next episode. Anyway, I just appreciate you so much for following along with these, Where Are They Now? episodes. Always amazing to get these updates and just kind of have that timestamp on a person's life and continually go back to that. So thank you so much, Stacy. Thank you the listener, and I look forward to serving you in the next one.
Cheers, peace out and as always, Team Flynn for the win.

Thanks for listening to AskPat at AskPat.com. I'm your host, Pat Flynn. Our senior producer is David Grabowski. Our series producer is Paul Grigoras, and our executive producer is Matt Gartland. Sound editing by Duncan Brown. AskPat is a production of SPI Media. We'll catch you in the next session.