AP 0256: How Do I Act Ethically in a Crowded Market?

AskPat 256 Episode Transcript

Pat Flynn: What's up, everybody? Pat Flynn here, and welcome to Episode 256 of AskPat. I appreciate you so much, and as always, I'm here to help you by answering your online business questions five days a week.

We have another great question today from Andrew, but before I get to that, I do want to thank today's sponsor, which is FreshBooks.com, an amazing, powerful piece of software that will help you organize your finances in your small business. You can join over a million other small businesses that use this piece of software to help them with keeping track of expenses, income, and invoicing. It's something I wish I got started with sooner as well, instead of using Excel, which I did for a while, and it was a headache, especially come tax season. So, if you'd like to give FreshBooks a try for seven days for free, all you have to do is go to GetFreshBooks.com and enter “AskPat” in the “How did you hear about us?” section. They are amazing, and I know you're going to love them.

Now, let's get to today's question from Andrew.

Andrew: Hi Pat, this is Andrew Taylor. I'm in the MLM field and am having trouble on Facebook of knowing what to say. I'm in a lot of home-based business groups and a lot of buy/sell/trade groups, but I notice in these groups that there's like, spammer, spammer, spammer, trying to provoke the opportunity and posting their links and everything like that. How do I separate myself from the crowd in these groups, and also what do I say? Because I have no idea what to say in these groups, or how to get people interested. Also, how do I do the same thing on my regular Facebook with my friends to get them interested without having to hassle them or say, “Oh, you're going to make a thousand dollars right away,” because that can be possible, but it's probably not going to happen right away. But what do I say in these groups and what do I say on my regular Facebook to get people interested? Thanks, Pat. Appreciate it. Bye.

Pat Flynn: Andrew, thank you so much for the question. I think this is a very important question, because a lot of us are obviously on social people, and there are obviously people who are doing it right and then there are people who aren't doing it right. It's very, very reassuring to me to know that you asked this question and that you're coming at it from, how do I stand out from these people who are just spamming? When we think about it, what makes somebody spammy? Somebody who's spammy is just all about them. Me, me, me, me, me. There's this really funny comedy bit that I recommend you all look up; it is G-rated, and you can check it out with your kids. It's pretty funny. It's called “The Me Monster.” Me Monster. I can't remember the name of the comedian, but Stu McLaren showed it to me at the platform conference and I was cracking up in the back of the room. It's about, he's telling this story about these people who you know, we all know people like this, where there may be a dinner party and they're just talking about themselves the whole time, and the moment you come in with something, you tell them this story, well they one-up it all the time. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. It's a really hilarious comedy bit; you should check it out. It's about four minutes in length.

But, these people exist online too, and they're very obvious. People know; they don't want to associate with those people. I don't understand why people do that when they don't like receiving those things themselves. So, the approach to take is the complete opposite. Don't make it about you ever. Always make it about the person you're trying to help, and don't even ask for anything up front. In order to stand out, you need to do everything opposite. Different language. Do they put links? Yes. Do you put links? No. You want to build a relationship with people and get to a point where they say, “Hey Andrew, thank you so much for the help that you've given me. Where can I get more information? Where can I learn more about what it is that you do?” That's the goal. That's how you want people to respond.

I am always reminded, and I always tell this story, of what I heard Gary Vaynerchuk describe Twitter as. And this is Twitter; it's a social platform, and it works in the very same way: “Twitter and social media is just one big, giant party.” This is what Gary Vaynerchuk describes. In this one big giant room with this party, you know, there's different conversation happening in this room, right? You're brand new to these conversations and this room and this party; you walk in, it might be intimidating, right? You're like a first-time Facebook person, or first time on Twitter. It can be intimidating. You have nobody to talk to. You have zero friends, zero followers. But what you do is, you listen, you go around, and the worst thing you could do is go up to group of people who are already talking and say, “Hey guys, what's up? My name is Andrew. Look what I have to sell to you.” Nobody's going to be your friend. Like if that happened at real life in your party, they're just going to turn away or close that circle, or they're not going to let you in, or they're going to think you're weird and not really pay attention to what you have to say and offer. You are providing absolutely no value to them whatsoever when you do that.

That's what happens when you go on these online groups and spaces or even on your personal page and you just say, “Hey guys, look at me, look what I did. This is for you, this is a good opportunity, but really I'm going to actually just make money off of you.” That's not good. You want to go into this room, this big party, find conversations that you can actually provide value to. Go around, add your thing here and there. Again, not asking for anything. “Hey, my name's Andrew, and I've actually have experienced that before, and this is how you can handle that situation.” “Oh, wow, that's really cool, Andrew. Thank you.” And you get to a point where you get in that conversation and then people begin to appreciate you and accept you into that group. Then they say, “Hey, well, what is it that you do?” And that is the goal, like I said: when you get them interested in what you have, instead of you having to force yourself upon them. This is the approach I take, and why I love what I do so much, and why I love promoting this type of strategy. Give. Serve. The rewards will come back your way.

So how does that look on Facebook? Well, on Facebook, you want to offer amazing pieces of advice. Sometimes you see these posts that are longer than normal. They're not incredibly long, but just longer than a link post type of situation, where you're actually walking people through the steps on how to do something, how to accomplish something. The better tip is to give them something that can provide them a quick win. Imagine, among all these forums that you're in and all the spam that's in there, there's this one person; his name's Andrew. He posts three steps to do something, and by the end of that three steps, which just takes maybe 10 minutes, you get something. You actually see results from what it is. Okay. If that is me, I'm going to go seek Andrew out. I'm going to see what he's up to. I'm going to visit his personal page. I want to know what he's all about, because in 10 minutes, he's helped me. This is the quick-win situation. The power of the small, quick win is so, so big. That's why I always say, if you want to change somebody's life, you need to start by changing their day first. There's a book called The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. He talks all about the power of the small, quick win, and this small little thing that you do can create this habit where people will always come back to you over time.

Again, the people who are spamming, they just want that; they're all about quantity. They just want to post and post and post, and maybe one will bite. Well, you know what? You put your best out there, and the fish will come to you. I don't know if that was a good analogy. I hate using the idea of fishing in this online space, because that not what it's all about. So maybe that's not the right way to say it, but I think you know what I mean. I'm not going to edit that out, because I think it's important, that we have that distinction. On your personal page, I think you have to be even more respectful to the people who are on there and understand that when you promote, it's me, me, me, me. If you can provide value and share personal experiences, which I think would be the nice crossover between, this is your page, so you have the right to talk about what you're up to and what you're doing, but you also don't want to promote and just be like, “Hey, guys, look at me and look what I could do for you.” Just be like, “Hey. Look at me. This is how it's helping me, and this is how you might be able to learn from my situation if you were interested in something like this.” The more you keep talking about those sorts of things, you won't even have to ask people to get involved anymore; they will be interested. I have a friend who's into essential oils right now, and I love what she's doing. She's a high school friend of mine, actually, and she's just posting how she's using these products. She's not asking people to buy from her, even though she can sell them. She's just posting all of the different situations where she uses this kind of oil, lavender and all these sorts of things, and her comments from her friends are always like, “Wow. Hook me up. Where can I get that? That is so cool how you use that. I didn't know you could use it for that.” That's perfect. And that's how I would approach your personal Facebook page, in that sort of manner.

So, Andrew, hopefully that answers your question. I think that's a fantastic question, especially in the beginning of the year here, as people are really focused on promotional strategies and stuff moving into the New Year, and also, obviously, we're all on social media anyway. So, an AskPat t-shirt is headed your way, Andrew, for having your question featured here on the show. Thank you again. For those of you listening, if you have a question you'd like potentially featured here on the show, all you have to do is head on over to AskPat.com, and you can ask right there on that page using any mic that you have available, including your internal microphone if you have one on your computer or laptop. You can even ask on your mobile device, too. I know a lot of people have actually called in and have been featured on the show have called in through the mobile responsive version of the site, and that Speakpipe widget does work on your phone as well.

Of course, I want to thank today's sponsor, which is FreshBooks.com. Freshbooks, making it super easy for all of us to organize our finances. You can join over a million small business in just making life easier, especially come tax season. Like I said in the beginning, I wish I had only gotten started with it sooner, and I'm thankful now, with all the moving parts I have in my business, I have something like FreshBooks to help me get everything organized. If you'd like to get FreshBooks and try it out for free for seven days, head on over to GetFreshBooks.com and enter “AskPat” in the “How did you hear about us?” section.

Thank you so much, and as always I like to end with a quote. Today's quote comes from Dr. Robert Schuler. He says, “Tough times never last, but tough people do.” Take care, and I'll see you on the next episode of AskPat.